It's life..

Assalamualaikum wbt.

As we are approaching Ramadhan in just approximately 3 days time, I've been doing a lot of self-thoughts; reflecting on my life from as long as I can remember until now, as a wife, a research student and a mother (soon, Insya-Allah). Perhaps, my life is not much different from others; once the rebellious teenager and daughter, few heartbreaks, humiliation, rejections, made a total fool of myself, did lots of things which I've regretted, excelled in major exams (Alhamdulillah), being blessed with parents who will accept and support me even after their hearts are constantly being hurt, did my masters in UK, traveled to foreign countries, met lots of friends along the way, met and married to a wonderful man, and now pursuing the highest degree that I've ever imagined.

There are times when I was being hard of myself; being overweight and obese most of the time, not attractive and anything similar to inferiority complex issues. I thought I was the most miserable person at that moment, with constant criticism from people around me. I've even thought of over-dosing myself with diet pills just to make myself thin instantly. When I thought about it, oh.. how did I manage to make a fool of myself to that extent? Life is too precious to be treated in such manner.

It's good to have people around you who have gone through bigger obstacles in their life; lost a parent or both, lost a child, once living in poverty (and managed to get out of it with hard work and perseverance), and even involved in life-threatening situations which later ended up with physical, mental and emotional disabilities. These people's experience will make you appreciate your life even more. Heartbreak from a never-meant-to-be relationship will hurt you, so very much especially when you put your whole self into it, but the feeling is nothing compare to the hearts who have lost someone dear to a tragic accident or sickness.

No one's life is perfect, including (especially) myself. The key is to never give up, you can cry and lock yourself from others for perhaps few days/weeks/months/years, but NEVER LOOSE YOURSELF. Take the time to reflect the things that you've done, and you've gone through and try to improve yourself (note to self). And always remember, the hardship will make you even stronger and more appreciative towards what you already and still have. Allah has planned our life from the beginning until the end, and He is the only one who knows how will our life turn out to be. I'm not a preacher, as I'm also still learning, but I just want to share my thoughts and perhaps be able to inspire my friends who are now facing the hardest time in their life.

To whom it may concern, I really admire your courage and strength, and I hope that you'll continue to be strong and optimistic towards your days to come. I hope you'll never give up and embrace the gift of life which we've been blessed for all these years. I'm not going to say that I understand how you feel, because I might not, but as a friend, I would not want any of you to feel that you've failed in life as there are still so many things for us to venture which later will help us learn more about ourselves and others.

As for me, I'm still working on self-improvement; trying to be less-opinionated (especially with my parents and husband), be more attentive towards my research, more responsible (and have more control) on what I'm going to spill from my mouth, and be a better Muslim, Insya-Allah.

Again, "Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak..."