Mawaddah yg semakin cerdik.

Mawaddah buat aksi mendade.

Mawaddah yg pasrah semase dibuli oleh Ibu & Ayah.

Mawaddah yg 'annoyed'.

Mawaddah yg skrg suke sgt dipegang.

Mawaddah yg terpinga2.

Mawaddah yg tgh geram dgn jari Ayah.

Mawaddah, anak Ibu & Ayah.

Picnic in the garden

Black sheep

"Black sheep is an English language idiom which describes an odd or disreputable member of a group, especially within one's family. The term has typically been given negative implications, implying waywardness. It derived from the untypical and unwanted presence of black woolled individuals in herds of sheep, which was undesirable because wool from such sheep could not be dyed."

"A worthless or disgraced member of a family."

It sounded so demeaning, and I never like the idea. However, there's always the case where in any family, there's always someone who is the 'under-achiever', the 'outcast' if you like, and this person could turn out to be 'the disgraced member of a family' or totally the opposite.

I would like to think that it is a matter how parents and the other siblings deal with this kind of situation, without prejudice and denying one's right to be treated equally as others in the family. The same treatment, the equal opportunity to become the best that one could be.

However, it's easier to be said than to be done. In reality, nobody's the same which means no treatment would be equally the same. All parents want the best for their children, no matter what. At the same time, parents are still normal human beings, who make mistakes once a while.

To make things work for the family, I suppose that each and everyone should make some sort of compromising. The parents should accept the fact that no child is the same and the child should think what's best for the family and him/herself.

Then again, this is just my humble opinion, which subject to any comment and discretion. This is just me, being emotional, as always. :)

Don't judge a book by its cover.

I'm not much of a reality show fan, I do watch them sometimes but never voted or so what ever. Here in UK, it's not much different from Malaysia. In fact I think the Brits are so obsessed with reality shows and believe me, they really do. You name it, from scouting for talents to finding the best British dish.

I enjoy watching some of them, but what struck me the most is this episode of Britain Got Talent. She's definitely a gem. She has such a beautiful voice and for me honestly, she doesn't need any other package to be a great singer someday.

Enjoy!

Kenape aku .....??

Sebenarnye byk keje. Melambak yang tertangguh. Yela, dh bape lame cuti dr buat keje research. Tapikan, smpi skrg progress tersgt la slow!! Kenape la aku ni malas sgt??!! Tolong!!!!

Foto terbaru Mawaddah

Assalamualaikum wbt

Terima kasih buat Auntie Naz yg 'post'kan gambar2 ini di 'Facebook'.

Untuk tatapan Tok Ki, Tok & pakcik2 & makcik2 di Ajil, Atok, Nenek & makcik2 di Subang Jaya, Pak Ngah Izad di Colorado.

Nota : Ini foto2 bayi yang baru sahaja berumur 2 bulan. (ade rupe mcm 2 bulan ke? x kesah la kan Mawaddah, yg penting sihat & ceria)

Postnatal eating disorder?

Hi.

Since having Mawaddah, I've been eating 'excessively'. I'm back to my old habit; snacking between meals. This is not good for my slimming-toning-down regime. I need to lose weight desperately as I'm considered over-weight/obese (based on my BMI reading).

I can't help the cravings, so I've resorted to healthy snacks; cereals with milk, fruits, etc apart from other not-so-healthy e.g. crisps, desserts, ice cream, etc. I'm not much of a chocolate-olic, which helps with dieting department.

I'm not ambitious in everything I do, and this slimming regime is no-exceptional. I just want to be healthy. Period.

and honestly, I'm still not convinced that I can. For now. :)

Responsibility

Assalamualaikum wbt

Mawaddah is 1 month old today. How time flies, which reminds me of the 4-month backdated research work piled up just dusting away in my hard drive. And I really need to update my progress with my supervisors. I've been absent for quite some time; they must have 'missed' me by now.

Not that I'm totally burned out with my research, it's just that I get easily tired now. Physically tired, with this new sleeping pattern. I'm not the type of person who likes to take naps in the day, or wake up late in the morning. But I didn't get enough sleep ever since my later period of pregnancy and now with a baby in the family, I wake up late (the latest at 8.30am) almost everyday. Alhamdulillah, Hisyam is very helpful with Mawaddah and let me sleep on. Mawaddah is wonderful, although she does wake up in the middle of the night every 3-4 hours for her feed and nappy change. Sometimes she just wants a cuddle. What every baby wants.

I don't really want to write about my baby's routine; not that I'm unhappy or less enthused about her. Believe me, she's now the centre of my attention, and Hisyam's. That's why I thought writing on responsibility and obligation would make much better sense; not just being a parent, but being a person, period.

We started off not having any responsibility, and gradually our role evolve as we get older. I remembered my sister once told me that she wouldn't want to learn how to drive the car, as she thought it will require a lot of responsibility. And I remembered how I reminded her that she already has a lot of responsibility for just being human; as a child to your parents, as a sister/brother to your younger siblings, as a friend, as a student, as a being to its Creator. A husband/wife to your partner, a parent to your children.

I'm used to being the 'responsible' one. Being the eldest daughter, I always feel that my parents, especially my dad were 'extra' hard on me. As a teenager, who didn't understand (or at least refuse to understand) that the parents were just doing their job and responsibility to their child, I tend to disappoint my parents with my rebellious behaviour. To my everlasting regret, I'm sorry Mak, Ayah.

And now, I'm looking through their eyes, as new parents with a baby to care for. My experience so far, has taught me one thing (among others); the hardship and sacrifice of raising a child to every his/her needs. And imagined, how my parents felt when I raised my voice, when I talked back, when I disobeyed them. How rude. How ungrateful.

I still have the time to make up for my wrong doings. I still have the time to remind my siblings of appreciating Mak & Ayah and the importance of being respectful to them. Plus I now can educate my own daughter to become a better person than myself. This I promise, Insya-Allah.

Anak

Suatu amanah, anugerah Ilahi
Rasa kasih sayang yang tak berbelah bagi
Semenjak dalam kandungan lagi
Alunan Al-Quran didendang dari hari ke hari

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya dia lahir ke dunia
Sihat, sempurna, sejahtera
Hadiah berharga buat Ayah & Ibu berdua
Penyambung zuriat, penyeri rumahtangga

Syukur dipanjat kepada Allah
Atas kurniaan rezeki & anugerah
Seorang anak bernama Mawaddah
Lambang cinta kasih Ibu & Ayah
Nota : Dalam 'mood' sentimental. Hasil karya secara spontan, namun lahir dari jiwa & raga, ikhlas dari seorang ibu.

Drama Melayu

Assalamualaikum wbt

Ingatkan nak menulis tentang anak, tapi nak tunggu ade idea dulu. Sekarang ni tgh 'cuti' berpantang walaupun sebenar2nye dh lame ber'cuti' dari buat keje research. Rase bersalah sebenarnye tapi penyakit MALAS tu masih kuat lagi. Moge2 dgn kedatangan ahli baru ni membawa semangat baru. Almaklum la, tanggungjawab dh makin besar skrg. "Sorry ye bang, Huda jd pemalas sgt.. :)"

Dalam mengisi mase lapang, cube 'catch-up' balik dgn drama2 melayu kt tv3.com.my, antarenye SpaQ 2, Kasanova XXL, Fara S3 & Pemanduku Jutawan. 4 drama bersiri ni different genre, which undeniably ade yg agak 'lame', tapi rase rindu nak tgk drama melayu punye la kuat jadi daku layankan aje.

SpaQ mmg aku follow mase kt Msia dulu. SpaQ 2 ni mule2 mcm boring, so aku mule tgk bile dh episod 30. Well, it is fairly predictable, so I'm not worried if I missed some of the episodes (then again, you can always watch them online). Same old, same old; excessive make-up, revealing wardrobe, betrayal, board meetings, etc. Aku paling suke watak Qistina dan Norish Karman mmg sesuai dgn watak tu. Aku x bape suke Azizah Mahzan bwk watak Marlia sbb care die berckp mcm tak bape terang, mcm tergagap2 skit. Plus the fact that rambut die sgt la keras, ok.. Aku ade la sedikit menyampah tgk artis2 melayu wanita ni pakai mmg x igt akhirat punye, but then again what can you expect from them? However on a more positive note, it's good that they've included something about family values; bagaimane kecewanye ibu bile satu2nye anak lelaki die x percayekan die. Itu aku puji.



Yang ni plak komedi. Mule2 aku x minat nk tgk tp dah boring sgt, aku cube2 la. Skali tu mcm best la plak. Based on the title, you can guess what the story is all about. Lelaki yg 'obese', low self esteem, kaki chatting and guess what, pretending to be someone he's not. So predictable. Yg best tu die menyamar jd abg die. Pelakon Shaheizy Sam yg semmgnye x 'obese' telah digemukkan dgn sgtla budgetnye ala2 Erra Fazira dlm Cinta Kolestrol (maybe David Teo spent a little more, if I got the wrong producer so sorry ah Uncle David!). Well skrg cite ni dh smpi part yg mane mamat 'obese' ni kene diet dgn bantuan abg die (lakonan Rusdi Ramli) and awek abg die (lakonan Nanu). Aku suke cite ni sbb lakonan dieorg sume mmg bersahaje, mmg real mcm adek beradek. Cume aku x bape setuju on the idea of lelaki gemuk susah nk dpt awek. Dah kalau taste ko ppuan kurus ramping mmg la susah. Pokok pangkalnye, kene realistic la. Aku rase ppuan gemuk (ehem.. aku termasok la tu) lagi susah nk dpt pakwe, sbb kalau die nk mulekan, pastu skali kene reject lagi malu. (Emo la plak, mcm ade pengalaman jek.. cite lame, x perlu dikenang ye x?). Anyway, aku akan follow cite ni smpi habis, walaupun sebenarnye aku dh bole agak ending die camne.

Fara ni dh masok siri ketiga pon. Cume kali ni jadi makin serius. Ade cintun2 skit. Dah abis dah pon siri 3 ni, can't wait for the next series.

Sekali lg sitcom yang menampilkan DJ radio sbg pelakon utama. Honestly, Fara Fauzana is much much better than Faizal. Tp mcm aku ckp seblm ni, layankan aje. Siri ni kalau x tgk sume episod xpe, sbb antare episod xde kaitan sgt. Personally, aku rase cite agak boring, sbb tu aku x tgk sume episod. Sekadar menghilangkan rase rindu dgr org ckp bahase melayu. Tu jek.

Okla, entry kali ni sgt la kelam kabut, dr segi penggunaan bahase. Carca merba. Mcm air batu campur. Sorry ye kpd pakar2 & pencinta2 bahase.

Masya-Allah

Assalamualaikum wbt.

It has been a while since my last entry. Been busy; coping with a long pregnancy, moving to a new house, and well, 'malas sebenarnye'. As some of you might know, I've safely delivered a beautiful (Masya-Allah) baby girl on the 4th of February at 11.49am in John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford, after a long 14-hour labour. If any of you ask me, "sakit x beranak?" and I'll honestly say, "Ye, teramat la sakit, tp trust me, sumenye berbaloi.."

The pain and agony of giving birth, has taught me a lot, but the most valuable lesson that I've learned having gone through the process myself, is that I can't never reward my mother enough even with all the money, energy and time that I could ever have. "Kasihkan ibu membawa ke syurga." Mak, terima kasih kerana melahirkan, membesarkan dan didikanmu. Kesabaranmu tidak terbalas. Huda sayang Mak.

Sorry for being rather emotional. It's just that, I'm missing my mother, a lot.

Mawaddah is 1 week old now. She sleeps through the day, wakes up occasionally for feeding and nappy changing. And without fail so far wakes up at 1.30am and again at 4.30am. She's quite a challenge, but Alhamdulillah, she's content for most of the time. Senang jage dan x byk karenah.

I have some of her latest photos, but I'm too lazy to transfer them from my handphone to my laptop. Perhaps some other time. If you're interested, please visit my husband's blog. I would like to express my gratitude to all who visited us both at the hospital and home (Kak Tik, Abg Din, Kak Rozi, Abg Wan, Kat, Amin, Yani, Abg Rosli, Kak Non sekeluarga, Umi, Asean). Thank you to all who have helped us move to our new house (Kak Tik, Abg Din, Zul, Saiful, Asean & Yani) and on personal note, terima kasih yg x terhingge utk Kak Tik & Abg Din di atas sokongan & bantuan yg diberikan. Hanya Allah saja yang mampu membalas jasa kalian semua.

Until my next entry. Assalamualaikum.

Me @ 36 weeks

I chose to put this latest photo of me, sitting down instead.

My last photo of 30-weeks pregnant had made quite the impression, mainly just how big my tummy was. Not that I mind, instead I appreciate all the comments. Thank you all for your concern and advise.

So this is me, smiling, waiting nervously for the delivery.
Can't wait to meet this little fellow.



Salam Maal Hijrah 1430.

The 1st time ever and I'm doing it away from home!

Assalamualaikum wbt

Yesterday I had my 34-weeks appointment with the midwife. Alhamdulillah everything is fine; my blood pressure's normal, baby's heart beat is fine, uterus growth is spot on (34cm = 34 weeks) and the urine test turned out ok.

I've written before about my anxieties, but I suppose my main concern is that, I'm pregnant for the very 1st time, and I'm away from home, and guess what I'm going to take care of the baby (and myself) without help from Mak or Mok (my mother-in-law) after the birth during confinement period (as we called 'waktu berpantang'). Both of us (me & my husband) know this is going to be very challenging, but we both agreed this is another process of maturity; becoming parents.

I'm not sure about other countries, but here in the UK everything is paid for by National Health Service (NHS). From consultation to prescriptions, from conception until birth, everything is free of charge. For us, oversea students with limited fund, this is very helpful. The procedures and services provided are presumably different from Malaysia; UK being a developed country therefore has better health service than any developing nations.

What strikes to me as different here is that all mothers-to-be have to prepare Birth Plan and this Birth Plan will be discussed with the midwife, of course before the birth take place. I've discussed mine during my appointment with the midwife yesterday and Alhamdulillah everything is in place.

How did I manage to come up with this plan? During my 1st appointment with the midwife, she provided me with few booklets (again for free) to help me through pregnancy until birth and after the birth. By the way, here the midwives are the main person who deal with pregnant women, as compared to Malaysia whom you are dealt with doctors (GP or gynea). However if you are experiencing rather complicated pregnancy, you'll most probably have to work with O&G doctors or consultants.

Lately, I've been writing a lot about my pregnancy. I hope I didn't bore you in any way, but if I did, do accept my deepest apology. When you're happy+nervous+worried+overwhelmed, I guess by writing about those feelings will help to ease everything down. :)

These what Ibu & Ayah bought for you so far...

My dearest baby-in-my-tummy,

Although with limited funds & tight budget, Alhamdulillah Ibu & Ayah managed to buy some few things for you honey (at very reasonable prices!).

A brand new cot (from Ikea at a very reasonable price) and some 'friends' for you.

Some 'friends' for you which we bought from the car boot sale
(Don't worry honey, Ibu had washed them for you..)
Patrick Starr - £0.50
Teddy bears - £6.00 (for both)
Cot mobile - £3.00

Fluffy books & Bath time book (We can read this when you take your baths!)
Fluffy books - £1.50 (each)
Bath time - £1.00

Chunky Safari & Pets (when you a little bit older)
Ibu & Ayah bought them because they only costed £0.50 each!


More books for you cost only £0.50 each!

Ibu's hospital bag is packed, your car seat & pushchair are already in the car,
now, we're just counting the days to your expected arrival.

Ya Allah, please make safe for my husband and me, and of course our baby. AMIN.

Salam Aidil Adha

Assalamualaikum wbt

Kalau Malaysia berhari raya Isnin, sama lah kami di Oxford. Walaupun kami tidaklah berapa ramai, tetapi sambutan Hari Raya Aidiladha tetap meriah. Terubat kerinduan pada keluarga dan sanak saudara di Malaysia. Dalam hal ehwal makanan, kami di Oxford tidak ada masalah. Pelbagai juadah ada; nasi beriani, nasi Arab (ala-ala nasi bukhara), nasi tomato, rendang daging, sambal goreng, lodeh kering, kuah kacang, ayam masak merah, nasi impit, dalca kambing, rendang kambing, laksa asam, 'blueberry cheese cake' dan sebagainya. Semuanya dimasak sendiri oleh warga Malaysia di sini. Walaupun tengah sarat mengandung, saya tetap menyumbang sedikit juadah, sekadar yang termampu.

Solat sunat Aidiladha berjemaah turut diadakan. Alhamdulillah, kali ini berpeluang berjemaah, oleh kerana solat sunat Aidilfitri terlepas tahun ini memandangkan ada tuntutan kuliah di Brookes. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki, dipanjangkan umur untuk bertemu Ramadhan, Syawal dan Zulhijjah pada tahun-tahun yang akan datang. AMIN.

Nota : Sila abaikan wajah penulis yang semakin tembam dan 'chubby'.

Being Plump

I've been over-weight since 19 years old, and since then I've been 'bruised' by others' criticism and worse, even I criticised myself. I hate looking at mirrors, and even in my worst condition, I would punch my flabby tummy to release the disappointment and grief.

But it was then. Now, despite of the occasional criticism that I get once in a while, I'm more positive about it. I'm over-weight, that's the fact but Alhamdulillah, I'm healthy; normal blood pressure, normal level of cholesterol, normal sugar level and above all I'm happy with my life.

I'm still plump, even more plump than before. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and so far Alhamdulillah, a healthy mother-to-be....

Disclaimer: The following photos might be 'hazardous' to some viewers, especially if you have a perfect slim body or you personally disgust fat people. :)

Me @ Nandos Cowley Road for Abang's 27th birthday
24 weeks pregnant

Me @ home - 30 weeks pregnant

Our Weekend 22 - 23 Nov 2008

They visited us in Oxford somewhere in August this year. So, we decided to return the visit last weekend. It took us around 2 hours to get to their place and my first impression was "this is a lovely neighbourhood!"; a good place to stay indeed.

We were greeted with warm welcome from the hosts and hot-delicious 'mee kari' (thanks Fara!). Later, Kak Gee and family joined us for lunch. Then, Fara and Mosan took us to Loughborough University. It is a campus-like university, very much similar to UTM Skudai back home, plus with excellent sporting facilities. Took some photos of us in the Civil & Building Engineering building and at the front gate. It was extremely cold, so we cut our visit short and headed back to their place.


Later in the evening, Dino & Maz (friends of Fara & Mosan) came to the house. Very friendly and bubbly couple. It's good to be acquianted with nice and modest people. After a long day, we retired at 10pm for our early day tomorrow.

Sunday morning. Had our English breakfast and we were off to the car boot sale. The weather was not promising though, and as expected, the boot sale was a bit disappointing. However, we managed to get ourselves a toy for the upcoming baby, a cookbook and 2 motorcycles models. Then we decided to continue our shopping spree at IKEA Nottingham, and it was very fruitful. We bought a bookshelf, baby's cot (with mattress, mattress protector and cover), a jar and frying pan. Well, it was a bargain, and we seemed to forget that we drove (only) a saloon car. So, as expected, Fara and Mosan had to sit (uncomfortably) on the bookshelf and baby's cot for almost 40minutes (Sorry guys! We were over excited!).

We went to Kak Gee's house for a short visit. Had a lovely 'bihun goreng' (even had seconds! hehehe) and long chat. Then, we headed back to Fara & Mosan's place and packed our things for home. Fara prepared lunch (it was delicious!! and of course I had seconds! heheh) and after Maghrib prayer, we made our move to Oxford.

It was such a lovely weekend; spending time with good friends as well as meeting new people. We will come again (Insya-Allah) to Loughborough, and we hope our friends there will come visit us here in Oxford.

To Fara & Mosan, thank you very much for the warmest hospitality. Semoge dimurahkan rezeki.

P/S : Fara, aku x serik ok.. Next time kite gi serang Stoke-on-Trent plak.