the diary of a research student (wife and mother) : lesson learned

PCOS

2012-01-15T11:59:00.002Z

Like most mornings, after Subuh, I will log into Facebook. Most of the time, I have maybe 2-3 notifications, but today none. However, I found a rather 'interesting' wall post on a 'magic cream' which can help with PCOS, period irregularity and infertility. Hence, this wall post and this blog entry;

I had problems with my period since myearly teens, and it became worse when I reached 20 years old, which led to ameeting with the GP. The doctor prescribed me with a 'drug' which would helpwith my period. The medication helped, but it also came with drastic weightgain. That was then. Apparently, my period became normal again for the next 5years. I had the problem again when I reached 25, but this time I refuse to goto the GP and decided just to deal with it without doing anything about it.Then I got married at 26, and obviously we wanted to have kids as soon aspossible. At that point, my period only come every 4-6 months. Finally, Idecided to seek professional help. I didn't want to face the long waiting listin government hospitals, so I went for Pusrawi Jalan Tun Razak. I went to theappointment counter, and asked if I can make an appointment with any femaleOB/GYN in the hospital. They recommended Dr Adilah Ahmat, and booked my firstappointment on the following week.

On the day, I had to wait for 4 hours for myappointment. I found out that Dr Adilah had almost 30 appointments just forthat morning, and I was the 26th to check-in (I came at 9am as my appointmentwas at 10am, but apparently it didn't mean anything, as other patients werealready there as early as 7.30). I discussed my problems with her, and she dida quick scan and almost immediately,I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycysticovary syndrome). She booked me another appointment (longer session) to dofurther examination. On my next appointment, she did another scan, and sheconfirmed that it is PCOS, and then we talked about the best way to alleviatethe problem. She recommended laparoscopic procedure called "ovarian drilling", and that was in February 2008, which meant nothing if I didn't have to fly to UK on the following month for my PhD. Hence, she booked me the next available 'surgery' which was Tuesday of the following week.

The surgery went well (they even provide me with the video recording), and I had to go for 2 more appointments before my flight. I also had to go for a scan to determine whether there is any other complication and was prescribed Clomiphene to help with ovulation. On my second cycle after the surgery, I was pregnant with Mawaddah. Alhamdulillah. Allah has answered our prayers and blessed us with a healthy child.

Since I had Mawaddah, my period cycle is now normal and regular as it should be. Alhamdulillah.

I am no expert, and that was why I went to the people who ARE the experts. I just hate and disgusted by the idea of 'magic' creams/pills without any suggestions to seek professional help before you opt for so-called 'magic' solution. Personally, I would rather spend my money on a medically-certified procedure conducted by people who actually know what they are doing than some cream/pill promoted by people who don't have the slightest idea on what they are selling/promoting.

I hope this entry will help those who are facing the same problem as I was. Insya-Allah. To others, I hope you will do the right thing when you have any form of medical/health problems.

Till next entry.

Pengkritik tak bertauliah & berlesen

2012-01-05T23:34:00.002Z

Akhir2 ni, suka pulak tonton drama/filem Melayu. Walaupun jauh beribu batu dari Malaysia, being a TV junkie since forever, I would say I'm well in touch with the current tv/movie scene in Malaysia. Aku takde la tgk semua, lagi2 slot akasia yang at least 24 episod tu. I think the only drama series yg aku mmg tgk dari episod 1 sampai habis was Nora Elena. Lepas Nora Elena, aku dh x follow sgt, kebanyakannya aku tgk episod awal (1-5) then 2-3 episod terakhir. Asal faham cerita, cukup. Tentang Dhia was no exception. I watched, probably the first 8 episodes, then decided to skip the remaining episodes until the last 3. I just didn't like the idea of watak baik asyik kena buli dgn watak jahat, dan yg baik ni selamanya naif dan defenseless, smpi tak ambil apa2 tindakan. I mean come on! Aku rasa dalam hal tu, ramai dah komen dalam facebook. To dwell on this matter would be simply pointless and redundant.

Dari segi filem, I think many would agree that Ombak Rindu is the most anticipated film of 2011. Aku rasa dari bulan 7 tahun ini, orang dah mula bercakap tentang filem ini, lebih-lebih lagi sebab Aaron Aziz yang akan bawa watak Hariz (thanks to Seth Tan in Nora Elena). I have my doubts on Maya Karin as Izzah. Sebabnya, dalam Ombak Rindu, Izzah adalah seorang gadis kampung Melayu, and obviously Maya Karin is far from Melayu (no offence to her fans). Selepas menonton lakonan Maya dalam Ombak Rindu, terbukti telahan aku benar. Izzah dalam filem adalah seorang gadis kampung yang memang asal usulnya di kampung, tapi bahasa Melayunya agak canggung, ada slang. Nonetheless, she did well in the film, lakonan Maya sebagai wanita teraniaya memang boleh dipuji. Lisa sebagai Mila, aku rasa ok la. Lagipun dalam Ombak Rindu, watak utama adalah Hariz dan Izzah, jadi sesiapa yang boleh bawa watak perempuan antagonis, boleh bawa watak Mila dengan berkesan. It seems that 2011 is Aaron's year; orang masih terkenangkan watak Seth Tan dalam Nora Elena, and I believe this has worked perfectly for Ombak Rindu with the growing pool of Aaron's fans. Aku pun minat Aaron dalam Nora Elena, tapi aku rasa ada lagi pelakon yang lagi bagus cuma mungkin kurang 'handsome' kalau nak dibandingkan dengan Aaron Aziz. Aaron sebagai Hariz, boleh lah. Macam Maya, Aaron berjaya bawa watak Hariz, Hariz dari Singapura (if you know what I mean). Dalam Nora Elena, Seth Tan adalah lelaki berketurunan Cina, jadi gaya percakapannya masih diterima, because it is expected that Seth Tan akan sedikit pelat dalam berbahasa Melayu. Hariz on the other hand, is totally a different character. Apa2 hal pun, apa yg penting tahap ke'handsome'an dan ke'macho'an lebih utama untuk menzahirkan watak Hariz. I think. Aku paling suka watak Bront Palarae. Lakonan Bront belum pernah lagi mengecewakan aku. Dia memang pelakon berbakat, walaupun dia taklah se'macho' atau se'handsome' Aaron Aziz. Nonetheless, aku tak sabar nak tgk filem Bunohan.

Apa yang membuatkan aku agak meluat dengan Ombak Rindu, ialah scene sensual yang aku rasa tak perlu pun elaborate sgt. Aku rasa penonton boleh faham tanpa dizahirkan perlakuan yang sememangnya tak berapa sesuai dipertontonkan sebegitu rupa. Penonton Malaysia dah biasa tgk filem Hollywood, and I believe they can understand simple gestures or body language leading to coitus. Let me put it this way, aku sebagai penonton boleh faham apa yang akan jadi seterusnya, bila lelaki & perempuan or suami & isteri pegang tangan, sengih2, malu2 beruk, lps tu masuk bilik tutup pintu. Tak perlulah sampai nak tunjuk baring atas katil, dengan kurang pakaian, peluk2. Seriously, these things yg merosakkan cerita. Perasaan cinta bukannya terbatas dengan sentuhan atau perlakuan fizikal. Aku rasa cinta tu lagi berkesan dan berbekas kalau digambarkan dengan kata2 dan perbuatan yg tak melibatkan sentuhan. Ambik cth Nora Elena. Hubungan Nora & Seth sebagai suami isteri pada aku tak menjengkelkan. Just enough to make us all drool for Seth and wish that all men/husbands can be like him. Tak perlu scene sentuhan kulit ke kulit. Hanya dengan mainan kata2 dan lenggok badan. I've read the novel more than once, dan apa yg membuatkan aku sukakan novel Ombak Rindu sememangnya bukan sebab babak-babak ranjang, dan mungkin ramai yang bersetuju.

As suggested by the title of this entry, I am pengkritik tak bertauliah & berlesen. Mungkin ada yang bersetuju, dan mungkin ramai jugak yg tak bersetuju. By all means, you are entitled to your opinion and maybe you can write about it sometime.

Until the next entry (entah la bila pulak nak update).

Perihal mendidik anak

2011-10-28T12:31:00.003+01:00

Sekarang ni rasanya ramai bloggers yg menulis ttg anak, keluarga, etc. Kebanyakannya niat utk berkongsi pengalaman, kongsi masalah, bertukar pendapat, terutamanya dalam hal-hal membesarkan anak. Kebanyakan bloggers yg dimaksudkan adalah new mothers, jadi banyak la pengalaman baru yg nak dikongsi. Baguslah, moga kita sama2 belajar.

Saya sendiri baru 2thn 8bulan menjadi ibu. Apa yg boleh saya katakan, saya adalah seorang ibu yg garang, tapi taklah sampai tahap dewa. Saya akan marah Mawaddah kalau dia buat perangai yg pelik2, seperti menjerit2 tanpa sebab, baling2 mainan, baling2 makanan, buat aksi2 yg membahayakan diri sendiri. Kalau dia melawan balik ckp saya, saya akan pukul tgn dia (perlahan) atau cubit peha dia (pon perlahan, bhgn yg byk isi). Selalunya, Alhamdulillah, dia dengar kata. Kalau dia pukul2 or marah2 ayah (or saya) dia, saya akan suruh dia say sorry, salam, peluk dan cium ayah dia smpi dia buat. Alhamdulillah, setkt ni dia masih lg dgr dan menurut kata.

Mawaddah ni bknnya anak yg nakal. Most of the time, dia sgt independent, boleh main sendiri, dan x banyak kerenah. Jarang sebenarnya saya (atau ayahnya) marah2 dia. Dan dia senang adapt to changes, cth dulu dia pakai pacifier, once dia masuk nursery, saya dah x bagi pacifier. Dia ok je, taklah mencari or tanya pasal pacifier dia. Sekarang ni dlm proses minum susu dalam cup, bkn dalam botol. So far Alhamdulillah. Dia pon dah minum fresh milk (jimat duit.. :)), 2 kali sehari, pagi dan malam sebelum tidur.

Saya merasakan membesarkan anak ni adalah satu proses yang unik; setiap dari kita ada kaedah, teknik, dan value yang berbeza yang kita cuba terapkan dalam diri anak2 kita. Mak ayah kita membesarkan kita dengan cara mereka tersendiri. Kita pulak kena cari kaedah yang sesuai dgn kita, and at the same time belajar dari pengalaman org lain. Setakat ini, kami selesa dengan cara kami. Mungkin akan ada yang berpendapat, kami terlalu berkeras dengan anak, tapi bak kata orang tua2 melentur buluh biar dari rebungnya. Kalau ada yang x berpuas hati, silalah belek anak saya, kot2 la ada lebam kat mana2. Setakat ini, alhamdulillah, dia masih sihat, happy, ceria, dan nakal mcm kanak2 lain yang sedang membesar.

Saya tak berniat untuk mengajar, cuma berkongsi pengalaman. Yang baik semuanya datang dari Allah, yang kurang baik, itu kelemahan kami sebagai ibu ayah. Kami sentiasa berdoa semoga Allah permudahkan urusan kami membesarkan Mawaddah dan anak2 yg akan datang. Kami berharap dia akan jadi insan yang lebih baik dari kami. Insya-Allah.

For the puzzling mind

2011-10-20T14:25:00.001+01:00

We bought her first jigsaw puzzlelast July at One Utama. We let her choose what she wants, and obviously, she choseMickey Mouse Clubhouse Disney puzzle. The price was not ideal (no, we are notcheap, but I think RM48 for a box of 2x20pieces puzzle is wee bit too much),but she really liked it. She even took the puzzle to the cashier.

Once we got home, almost immediately,she got on putting the pieces together. She had some help on her first attempt,but after having done it 2-3 times, she can easily do it on her own. Thenwe bought her another puzzle, cheaper one, at PKNS Complex in Shah Alam. Westill maintained the Disney theme but this time, the pieces were smaller. Shedidn't like it at all; it was too complicated for her. Sorry Mawaddah, Ibu wasgetting excited too soon.

We went back to Oxford, and wethought of getting her more puzzles. Whenever we are at car boot sales orcharity shops, we will look for good 'pre-loved' puzzles for her.

We can see her face lights up and feel her sense of achievement whenever she is done putting the pieces together. We are so pleased with her development (Alhamdulillah) and will continue to get more for her. I just hope she won't get bored anytime soon. :)

PUZZLES ARE INCREDIBLE CHILD DEVELOPMENT SKILL BUILDERS

Friday, January 28, 2011@ 3:47 PM

Nancy Konigsberg MA OTR/L

One of the most effective therapy tools I used was puzzles.

People usually think of jigsaw puzzles when they hear the word, but there are many other types of puzzles that exist. And all of them foster developmental skills. Depending on the type of puzzle being used, visual perceptual, fine motor, critical thinking, memory, reasoning, sequencing, planning and logic skills are tapped. Many of these components make up executive function. What’s more is that puzzles can keep minds sharp throughout a lifetime. Babies as young as 6 months start with inserting shapes into matching holes. Seniors can be found working on jigsaw puzzles with as many as 10,000 pieces. Can you imagine the amount of skills utilized to put together such a massive puzzle? Aside from interlocking puzzles, there are word search puzzles, soduko, crossword puzzles, wooden pieces-as-whole- puzzles and cryptoquotes. Everyone remembers hidden pictures form Highlights Magazine. Those are puzzles as well.

I have gotten amazing results using puzzles even with very cognitively challenged toddlers and children.

There is something very satisfying about connecting interlocking shapes, or inserting forms into the correct place on a board. And I believe it is this feeling of satisfaction that spurs motivation to try and do more and complete the puzzle. The fascinating aspect of working therapeutically with puzzles is that once learned, the child is able to carry-over the skill to new and increasingly more complicated puzzles.

Helping your young child learn to make puzzles is fairly easy. Whenever I work with a baby or toddler, I always sit long legged on the floor with the child tucked into the space between my legs. This enables me to work hand-over-hand with them and demonstrate by using the same hand as they would. If you sit facing your child, she will see a mirror image which is more difficult to process. If your child is left-handed, and you have no desire to promote right-handedness, then use your left hand as a guide. It may take some getting used to, but it is very important that you guide by helping their dominant hand. If your baby is young and you are not sure which hand is dominant, guide with whichever hand you use.

For very young babies or toddlers, start with a simple wooden puzzle such as those with 3 different sized circles.

These typically have a large peg grasp. Place your hand over your child’s and have her grasp the large peg. Then, rather than simply placing it in the correct hole, touch the flat of the circle onto the outer wood surface of the puzzle and slide it into the appropriate hole. Add a slight pressure as the shape slides over the edge and into the hole. This pressure gives sensory input and helps your child to understand what it feels like to get the shape into the hole. I have discussed this in my post about hand-over-hand help. Stick with circle shapes only for awhile. They are the easiest to learn. Once your child is successful at the three different circle shape puzzle, you can move on to simple puzzles with circles, squares and triangles.

The next stage of development in learning puzzles would be with 5 or more non-interlocking piece puzzles.

Many therapists and clinicians stick with individual shapes and puzzles which have matching pictures behind them (e.g. transportation puzzles with boats, cars, ambulance etc). I don’t think you need to wait to move on. I have seen amazing success with these “pieces-as-whole” puzzles which make up a picture when put together. The children seem to love making the picture come together. These puzzles require a slightly different technique. You will continue to work with them hand-over-hand. However, you are going to put all the pieces in the board except for the final piece. It is that piece which you will help them with in the same way you assisted with the circle shape. Use hand-over-hand guidance and slide the piece into position. Continue to repeat this until your child can put in that one piece independently. The next step will be to repeat the same technique but leave out the last two pieces. You will continue to work backward in this manner until you are able to take out all the pieces and your child remembers where they go unassisted. You may need to give verbal cues while they are learning. Try to minimize the physical assistance once you have helped a few times at the beginning of the session. Use verbal cues instead such as “rotate, turn it a little, where is the top, etc).

The process of starting at the end with just the last piece and working in reverse is called “backward chaining”. In my experience, it is phenomenally effective. Children with autism spectrum and those with cognitive delays do very well with this technique.

I even use backward chaining when teaching movement skills to very involved children. The reason it works so well is that success is very easy when a child performs the final piece of a task. Success builds self-esteem and motivation. For example, a few years ago I worked with a baby with Costello Syndrome. This is an extremely rare syndrome with physical abnormalities, internal anomalies and cognitive delay. The little girl did not seem to understand the concept of moving. I taught her to transition from lying on her tummy to sitting up. I did this by starting with the very final movement transition when getting into sitting. I repeated it over and over until she could do it. And then I started working backward to the beginning. It took about 6 months to teach it – but she learned it! Not only did she learn how to do it when prompted, but she started to move around on her own. By age three, she was walking. Every step of her physical progress was based on backward chaining. Her doctors were stunned because they didn’t think she had the cognitive ability to learn.

Getting back to puzzles, you want to continue to use the same protocol for each time you advance the difficulty. Start with the circle shape and progressively work up to interlocking puzzles. The best interlocking puzzles for 2 and 3 year olds are the 24 piece floor puzzles. You can find these sold on many internet sites. They seem to be limited in stores. The reason I like the floor puzzles is that the large pieces are easy to work with, and the size of the puzzle requires the child to use more of her visual field. The large size also promotes movement. These floor puzzles are also helpful for children with visual neglect. Children with disorders like hemiplegia may not look to their affected side. Tasks that occupy a wide space require visual searching in all fields –up, down and side to side.

Once your child can put together a 24 piece floor puzzle independently, you can be sure they have the skills for more complicated puzzles. In learning how to do a puzzle, your child has improved many developmental skills which will help her master other tasks. A puzzle requires looking at an individual piece, comprehending where the piece fits into a picture, planning where to begin and how to progress, manipulating and positioning that piece and others, and understanding the relationship and context of one piece to another. These skills can be applied for most activities of daily living. Learning puzzles is great therapy!

I want to mention the benefits of a few of the other types of puzzles I mentioned at the start of this post. Although I favor wooden peg puzzles and interlocking puzzles for young children, older children can benefit from jigsaw and other types of puzzles. Hidden Pictures help develop visual skills such as figure ground awareness (ability to distinguish figures from background) and visual discrimination (recognizing shapes and items). Word search puzzles provide much the same benefit: visual discrimination and visual perception. Crossword puzzles require reasoning and deductive skills, as well as planning and visual motor skills. Soduko elicits the same skills.

Puzzles are interesting and help children with attention issues, such as those with ADHD, to stay engaged. They promote many executive function skills which are helpful to children on the autism spectrum. They can foster social interaction when used in a group including turn taking and decision making. They can also foster movement and motor planning skills. They help improve fine motor skills such as grasp and manipulation. Best of all, these acquired skills can be generalized so that they carry over and help develop skills in other areas.

Source: Milestone Mom

Kata orang tua-tua

2011-09-25T11:31:00.000+01:00

Ya, blog ini seperti hidup segan mati tak mahu. Ikut hati banyak saja yang hendak dikongsi, tapi otak malas hendak berfikir, dan jari malas hendak bergerak. Kata asasnya, MALAS.

Kali ini rasa terpanggil nak menulis. Sampai seru kot.

Saya memang seorang yang banyak bercakap. Ada orang panggil peramah, bahasa kasarnya becok. Entah, semula jadi kot. Sentiasa berusaha untuk menahan diri, lagi-lagi cakap hal-hal yang tak baik.

Kadang-kadang dalam kita bercakap, kita lupa tatasusila, lupa budi bahasa. Kita lupa nak jaga hati perasaan orang lain. Kita lupa untuk menjaga kehormatan diri. Kita lupa mengawal diri. Kita lupa untuk merendah diri.

Kata orang tua-tua; Ikut resam padi, makin berisi makin tunduk ke bumi.

Makin berilmu, seharusnya kita makin dekat dengan Allah. Lagi banyak kita belajar, makin kita sedar sebenarnya masih banyak yang kita tak tahu.

And I always believe, ilmu hanyalah ilmu bila ianya dikongsikan. Sebab ilmu itu bukan milik hakiki saya. Ianya milik Allah yang memberi ilmu dan ilham. Tapi itu saya. Saya yang tak berilmu tinggi, lagi-lagi bab-bab agama.

Saya hanya menulis untuk peringatan diri, bukannya untuk menuding jari pada sesiapa. Tapi kalau ada yang tersinggung, maaf dipinta.

Semoga ia menjadi peringatan untuk kita semua.

Insya-Allah.

I was one of them whom she met in Oxford

2011-08-15T10:25:00.001+01:00

She was the 1st royal that I have met and talked to personally, and yet I feel she is the most humble and down-to-earth person and I have nothing but full of admiration towards her.

http://thestar.com.my/columnists/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F8%2F14%2Fcolumnists%2Fmindmatters%2F9299479&sec=mindmatters

She is such an inspiration.

Bangga dengan Chancellor aku! :)

Ada apa dengan mimpi?

2011-08-13T17:17:00.006+01:00

Hanim memandang ke arah James. Kebetulan, James sedang menghala pandangan ke arahnya, lalu mereka berbalas senyuman. Hatinya suka, "Tak salah kalau aku suka padanya, aku bukannya punya kekasih mahupun suami", kata hati Hanim. James mula mengorak langkah menuju ke tempat duduknya. Hanim rasa tak keruan, malu namun hatinya berbunga-bunga. "Mungkin dia pun sukakan aku," Hanim merasa perasaannya berbalas. Tiba-tiba hatinya teringatkan seseorang. Seseorang yang selalu hanya hadir dalam mimpi. "Kenapa nak diingatkan orang yang belum tentu kewujudannya? James ada di depan mata." Hanim cuba menghapuskan keraguan di hati.

Tiba-tiba bumi terasa bergegar kuat. Semua yang ada mula panik, mereka merasakan bahaya sedang menghampiri mereka. "Hanim, baik kita gerak sekarang, ini sajalah peluang kita untuk selamatkan diri", kata Ani, kawannya yang hanya memerhati sebentar tadi.

"Macam mana dengan James?"

"Hanim, percayalah hati kau sebenarnya sudah dimiliki, dan sudah sampai masanya untuk kau bersamanya kembali,"

Hanim keliru, "siapa yang dimaksudkan Ani? Adakah dia yang aku mimpikan selama ini? Siapa dia sebenarnya, dan benarkah dia yang memiliki cintaku?".

"Mari Hanim, kita tak ada masa lagi." Ani mendesak, gegaran semakin kuat. Kelihatan pasukan penyelamat mula memberikan arahan untuk meninggalkan tempat itu. James sudah tidak kelihatan. Pada ketika itu, Hanim hanya memikirkan keselamatan dirinya.

"Mari Hanim, kita mesti cepat, hanya dia harapan kau sekarang."

"Siapa dia Ani?"

"Nanti kau akan tahu Hanim."

Hanim hanya menurut langkah Ani, yang semakin lama semakin laju. Hanim menoleh, kelihatan bangunan di belakangnya mulai runtuh dan ramai yang bertempiaran menyelamatkan diri masing-masing. Langkah Hanim semakin deras mengenangkan nyawanya yang terancam.

"Hanim, cepat! Kita dah nak sampai ni."

"Tapi kita nak ke mana ni, Ani?"

"Tempat yang selamat."

"Kau pasti? Macam mana kau boleh tahu semua ni Ani?"

"Semua persoalan akan terjawab. Kau cuma perlu ikut aku saja sekarang", tegas Ani.

Akhirnya mereka tiba di tempat yang dituju. Kawalan keselamatan tampak ketat, namun mereka dibenarkan masuk, termasuk beberapa pelarian lain yang bersama mereka. Hanim masih dapat mendengar bunyi gegaran yang menghambat dia dan Ani ke sini. Hatinya merasa lega. Dalam masa yang sama, dia merasakan seperti dia kenal tempat ini. Bayangan mimpinya datang kembali. "Tempat apa ini sebenarnya?"

"Hanim, mari. Kita kena jumpa seseorang." Hanim menurut, perasan ingin tahu semakin kuat. Nalurinya kuat mengatakan orang yang dia igaukan selama ini, ada di sini.

"Ani, Alhamdulillah kau selamat." sapa seorang lelaki. Ani pantas memeluk erat lelaki itu. "Siapa dia? Masakan Ani tanpa segan silu memeluk lelaki sebarangan."

"Hanim, ini Ali, suamiku". Hanim terkejut, selama ini dia tidak pernah tahu yang Ani sudahpun berumahtangga,

"Dan ini......" Hanim memandang ke arah lelaki di belakang Ali. Lelaki itu mirip lelaki dalam mimpinya. "Tak mungkin! Siapa dia?" Hati Hanim jadi sayu bila terpandang wajahnya; hatinya terasa dekat dengan lelaki itu.

"Hanim?" Lelaki itu bersuara.

Hanim terkedu. "Macam mana dia tahu nama aku? Siapa dia sebenarnya?!"

"Sudah la Azim, dia masih keliru lagi. Hanim apa kata kau rehatkan diri dulu dalam bilik ini." Ani mencelah, sambil menunjukkan bilik di sebelah kanannya. Hanim menuruti langkah Ani. Sebaik sahaja dia masuk ke bilik itu, dia terpandang sekeping foto di atas meja. Kelihatan dia dan lelaki tadi sangat intim. Hanim bertambah keliru. Lantas dia memejamkan matanya, cuba mencari jawapan dalam benak ingatannya.

"Hanim, Abang rindukan Hanim, Abang tak pernah lupakan Hanim." Kedengaran suara lelaki tadi di belakangnya. Perlahan-lahan Hanim memalingkan tubuhnya.

"Abang? Abang Azim?" Hanim pantas merangkul susuk tubuh yang kini berada dekat dengannya. Air matanya mengalir deras. Inilah cinta hatinya yang dia rindukan selama ini.
________________________________________________________________________________

Pastu, aku terjaga dari tidur. Astaghfirullahalazim! dah pukul 8.00pg rupanya. Ya, semua di atas adalah penceritaan semula mimpi aku (ada la yg aku tokok tambah, nak bagi cerita ni nampak logik dan berstruktur sikit). Macam drama swasta pun ada. Clearly, Hanim or Ani tu bukan aku, dan watak-watak dalam mimpi aku takde kena mengena dengan yang hidup mahupun dah mati. Pure imagination!

Aku frust sebenarnya, sbb x tau sebab apa Hanim & Azim boleh terpisah sebelum tu. Kalau dapat sambung malam ni, best jugak. Heheheh.. (eerr.. mcm mustahil jek..).

-bahana melayan cerita melayu yang melampau..-

2 bulan sudah.

2011-06-19T17:10:00.000+01:00

Apa yang berlaku sepanjang 2 bulan lepas?

A. Bulan Mei

1. Aku dapat tahu 2nd supervisor mengandung, dah 32 weeks pun. Sebelum ni aku macam perasan the bulging tummy, tapi aku segan la nak tanya sampai la dia yang sendiri beritahu. She will be taking her maternity leave in early July 2011 dan akan kembali bertugas in Spring 2012. Kawan sesama supervisor, Veronika (German) sudah panik. Aku? Panik juga, tapi supervisor masih ada. Cuma dia ni SUPER busy. Semoga Allah permudahkan urusan belajar aku ni.

2. Aku dapat email dari UNRISD (United Nation Research Institute for Social Development), invitation for conference paper on the topic of Green Economy and Sustainable Development: Bring back the social dimension. Conference in Geneva, Switzerland. Topik conference macam tak kena dengan research aku, rasanya lebih relevan untuk Hisyam. He submitted his abstract on the 15th, and if accepted, will be asked for the full paper on the 15th of June. Harap-harap diterima. Boleh tumpang sekaki. Btw, presenter will be paid for; accommodation, transportation. How cool is that?

3. Akhirnya, dapat surat kelulusan UTM untuk lanjutan biasiswa & cuti belajar. Only for the next 6 months beginning from Mar 2011. Initially, applied for a year, and supervisor pun dah setuju. Oleh sebab prosedur permohonan kena mohon 6 bulan pertama, dan kemudian 6 bulan kedua, terpaksa lah aku menghadap supervisor minta dia isi balik borang dan laporan kemajuan. Hari tu pun, dia dah bising sebab borang berjela-jela, ni nak minta isi benda yang sama pula. Aku malas nak fikir lagi, nanti-nantilah.

B. Bulan Jun

1. Alang-alang sewa kereta untuk biometric appointment in Croydon, kami terus lajak ke Stoke-on-Trent, Salford, Newcastle, Edinburgh & Glasgow. From Thursday 2 June, till Monday 6 June. Hasilnya? Dapat jumpa kawan-kawan yang baik hati, dapat tengok tempat orang yang 10x ganda lagi best dari tempat sendiri, beberapa set Corelle, Tefal, Johnson Brothers & Pyrex. Corelle untuk mak & mak mertua (dan diri sendiri). Tefal untuk wedding gift adik Julai ni. Harganya murah dari harga biasa, sebab tu beli. :)

Johnson Brothers = £39.40 (total)

Corelle = £48 each (square) & £36 each (round)

In Edinburgh city centre

3 sekawan - Aisya, Adlyna, Mawaddah

Us, Manchester City ground

Disney Store, Trafford Centre

Newcastle city centre

Falkirk Wheel

Edinburgh city centre

Old Trafford

2. Terkena jangkitan Nora Elena. Jangkitan 'Seth Tan'. Mcm mana boleh terjangkit? Lepas baca entri by Marliza in her blog. 'Seth Tan' is without a doubt, a fictional character. Too good to be true, bak kata orang Putih. Sekali sekala melayan angan-angan, seronok juga. The last cerita melayu bersiri yang aku follow, Nur Kasih. Lama dah tu. At the same time, mula layan telemovie Melayu. Nonton Kashaf Imani, terus suka tengok Beto Kusyairy berlakon. Teringat zaman-zaman remaja dulu. Jangan terkejut, Juvana pun aku layan. Menghilang rindu nak dengar perbualan dalam Bahasa Melayu, plus the fact that kat sini, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Season 11, CSI New York Season 7, Criminal Mind Season 6 & Glee Season 2 dah habis. Ye, aku memang hantu TV. Sejak dulu, sejak sekolah lagi. Tanya la sesiapa yang rapat dengan aku kat STF dulu. Penghuni tetap common room.

3. Alhamdulillah, permohonan visa extension diluluskan, dapat sampai Dec 2012. Akhirnya dapat tempah tiket balik ke Malaysia for my bro's wedding in July. Terbang ke KLIA 5 July, pulang ke Heathrow 27 July. Naik Cathay Pacific. Don't know what to expect, hopefully the same if not better than Emirates. Belum beritahu supervisor lagi, selamba. Harap-harap dia restu. :)

4. Kereta aku telah dicopet di LRT Kelana Jaya. Adik aku yang pakai pergi kerja. Baru pakai setahun lebih, finance pun belum habis lagi. Alhamdulillah, boleh claim insurans, moga-moga dapat cover baki finance. Dah bukan rezeki kami. Insya-Allah, ada la rezeki yang lain.

Makin lama makin liat nak update blog. Laman sesawang dah kembali bersawang. Akan cuba update lebih konsisten selepas ini.

Till the next entry.

Kebebasan menutup aurat

2011-04-13T16:52:00.005+01:00

Viewpoints: Europe and the headscarf

The islamic headscarf has become one of the most hotly disputed items of clothing in Europe. The French ban on headscarves in state schools comes into effect on 2 September, and politicians in Germany and Belgium want similar laws.

Fanny Dethloff is a pastor at a Hamburg church and is responsible for refugee issues in the community

It makes absolutely no sense at all to bar Muslim women from public places because they wear the scarf. This kind of exclusion prevents these women gaining access to jobs, stops them from being integrated. It does nothing for emancipation - indeed, by shutting out those women who are trying to better themselves, it has quite the opposite effect.

Cracking down in this way is only likely to lead to a sense of victimisation, which will fuel extremism, not reduce it

Fanny Dethloff

Of course we want to condemn fundamentalism, but we don't do that by punishing the women - it is not the women who are involved with pushing this kind of intolerant, politicised Islam, it's the men. At a time like this we need more understanding, more tolerance, not less. And indeed, cracking down in this way is only likely to lead to a sense of victimisation, which will fuel extremism, not reduce it.

It is also problematic to assume, as some people do, that women are forced into wearing the scarf by overbearing men. While it is certainly the case that some are pressured into putting it on, many Muslim who wear it do it quite self-consciously. We need to respect their wishes, not ourselves oppress them by trying to make them take it off.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Sumber: BBC News)

Saya pernah diajukan soalan tentang hijab/tudung oleh seorang kawan dari Germany. Dia merasakan pemakaian tudung ini datang dari kaum lelaki (ayah, abang atau suami) yang berniat mengongkong kaum wanita. Saya cuba jelaskan kepadanya setakat mana yang saya tahu, sekurang-kurangnya berdasarkan kenapa saya memilih untuk memakai tudung. Saya jelaskan menutup aurat ini datang dari Allah yang dinyatakan dalam Al-Quran, dan saya tegaskan yang Islam bukan hanya berdasarkan kepercayaan semata-mata, tetapi Islam juga sebagai cara/gaya hidup.

Secara jujurnya, saya mula memakai tudung pada usia yang agak muda (9 tahun) atas permintaan ayah dan ibu. And it took me almost 15years later to realise the REAL reason for wearing the hijjab. Sebelum itu, saya memakai tudung kerana sudah menjadi kebiasaan sejak dari kecil. Saya sentiasa kagum dengan kawan-kawan dan kenalan yang memilih untuk memakai tudung atas keputusan sendiri. Alhamdulillah.

Mungkin ramai yang akan kata, memakai tudung tidak menjamin perilaku yang baik. Kita masih manusia, yang lemah dan mudah terpedaya dengan godaan syaitan. Apa yang kita mampu buat, berdoa semoga Allah pelihara kita dari hal-hal yang tidak baik, dengan kita memilih untuk menutup aurat. Insya-Allah.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-04-03T09:37:00.005+01:00

Mawaddah made this for Mother's Day (of course with some help from her carers at the nursery).

Happy Mother's Day (and everyday should be Mother's Day)!

Duit oh duit

2011-03-17T09:53:00.002Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

Aku dapat link ni dari wall post member kt facebook. Penulis blog ni generally membongkar 'muslihat' di sebalik skim MLM/piramid yang melambak skrg. Sebelum baca blog ni pon, aku dah ada pendpt aku sendiri psl MLM ni. Suffice to say, aku mmg bersetuju dgn apa yg mamat ni tulis, cuma bahasa yg dia pakai aku x berapa suka (byk sgt mencarut, sampai aku confuse dgn point sebenar).

Aku and Hisyam selalu je bincang pasal MLM, and Alhamdulillah kami sependapat dalam hal ni. I think mainly org yg terlibat dalam MLM ni, tertarik dgn tawaran 'dapat untung cepat dan mudah' especially IPTA students. Kebanyakan kita mmg ada impian nk jadi kaya, kalau x kaya pon, ada duit lebih utk bermewah2 skali skala. Nak ada rumah besar, kereta mewah, designer clothes, makan kt high-end restaurants, tapi hakikatnya kebanyakan kita, org biasa2 je, cukup makan, cukup pakai, ada tempat berteduh yg selesa dan selamat.

Mencari rezeki yg halal itu dah jd kewajipan. Aku personally x berapa yakin dgn ketelusan skim MLM ni dan aku bknlah org yg ada pengetahuan mendalam ttg muamalat dan hukum hakam. Apa yg aku tahu, cukup untuk aku menjauhkan diri dari skim2 sebegini. Bknlah bercadang utk hanya makan gaji sampai bila2. Ada juga keinginan nak melabur dalam perniagaan, kecil2an je la (cth bela kambing/lembu, ternak ikan, tanam sayur, etc). Berniaga mcm ni mmg la lambat nk kaya (silap2 x kaya pon, tambah pendapatan je), yg penting aku nampak apa benda yg aku jual, and aku tau dari mana duit tu datang.

Kalau dipikir2kan, skim MLM ni mmg menguntungkan dan senang, x payah susah2 buat keje berat. Tapi ramai je yg masih memilih untuk bersusah payah dalam mencari rezeki, berniaga kt pasar minggu, buka gerai burger, jual nasi lemak, goreng pisang, etc. Mgkn ada yg akan kata, student IPTA mana ada masa nk buka gerai, ternak kambing, etc. Seingat aku la, masa aku study dulu, xde plak org sebok2 nk masuk skim MLM ni sbb scholarship/loan x cukup, or nk tmbh duit belanja, Duit scholarship/PTPTN tu je la guna sebaiknya, pastu ada la mintak tambah sikit2 dari mak ayah. Kalau kwn2 yg x berapa senang (mak ayah x mampu nk bagi duit lebih), ada juga yg siap bg sebahagian duit scholarship/PTPTN kat mak ayah plak. Mgkn ada plak yang kata dulu lain skrg lain. Err, tapi aku xde la tua sgt, heh. Mungkin tuntutan hidup skrg lain kot, dgn 8 thn yg lps (aku grad dr UTM thn 2003).

Apa2 pon, aku mmg dh ada pendirian tetap ttg MLM, dan xde niat pon memaksa org bersetuju dgn aku. Cuma nk mengingatkan (termasuk diri sendiri), segala apa yg kita buat di dunia ni, ada balasan di akhirat kelak. Jadinya, sebelum kita membuat keputusan dalam mencari duit ni, kita kena selidik dulu punca dan latarbelakang perniagaan tu. Duit tu penting utk menanggung keperluan hidup, itu mmg x dpt disangkal. Kekayaan tu pon rezeki dari Allah, cuma malanglah kita kalau hidup dengan kekayaan tapi x pernah terfikir untuk meringankan kesusahan org lain. Bukan ke lebih baik, kalau kita berniat jadi kaya, supaya kita boleh tolong org lain yg serba kekurangan, banyakkan sedekah, beramal jariah. Lebih penting lg, punca kekayaan kita tu, bkn dgn cara kita menindas atau ambil kesempatan dari kelemahan org lain.

Moga2 kita semua tidak lupa, duit itu anugerah Allah, dan bila2 masa Allah boleh ambil balik. Dan, semoga Allah murahkan rezeki dan pelihara kita dari benda2 yg x baik. AMIN.

Nota: Entry kali ni lebih kepada peringatan utk diri sendiri. Maaf kalau ada tersilap kata.

Peringatan di Hari Jumaat

2011-03-04T11:41:00.006Z

"I remember the tales of Bani Israel as narrated in the Holy Quran. I don’t understand, if you do not want to abide by the laws of Islam – it’s your choice. Why to argue with others to legalise an illegal thing? The scriptures of Islam can’t be changed alike the previous ones."
(Eye on 'Gay Muslims')

Manusia memang tidak lari dari melakukan kesilapan. Tapi yang salah di sisi Islam tetap salah. Allah itu Maha Pengampun, sama-samalah kita memohon keampunan dariNya atas dosa-dosa lepas, sekarang dan akan datang.

Peringatan untuk diri sendiri.

Ya Allah, selamatkan kami..

2011-03-02T15:24:00.003Z

Selalunya, kita hanya memikirkan hal diri kita dan keluarga, hanya mereka-mereka yang kita kenal. Jarang kita ambil kisah masalah yang lebih besar, hal masyarakat termasuk saya sendiri.

Thanks to Kamelia for her wall post.

Sudah sampai masanya kita ambil kisah hal masyarakat. Ayat 'kubur masing-masing', 'urusan dia dengan Allah' tidak lagi releven.

Saya risau masa depan anak cucu saya. Masa depan anak cucu saudara seIslam kita.

Semoga Allah selamatkan iman kita semua. AMIN.

Mawaddah: penganjuran 'tea party'

2011-02-28T16:09:00.004Z

Let's get cooking...... 'lamb stew'

2011-02-12T08:09:00.005Z

Dah lama sebenarnya nak letak resepi 'lamb stew' ni. Aku mmg hampeh bab2 measurement ni, selalu pon kalau org tanya, jwpan favourite aku, "err.. sesedap tangan jek" or "agak-agak jek". So this is my version of 'sesedap tangan aku' lamb stew. :P

1. Beli lamb shoulder or shank pastu potong dadu. Bhgn tulang tu xyah potong pon xpe. Gorengkan sekejap dalam sedikit minyak utk perangkan daging. Bila dah nmpk perang skit2, bole angkat dan letak tepi.

2. Dalam minyak yang sama, tumiskan 3 bawang besar yang dipotong 4, 2 ulas bawang putih yang diketuk, dan sedikit serbuk cili. Kalau ada dried herbs, mcm basil ke, bole masukkan jugak. Tumis smpi naik bau.

3. Then, masuk sayur (carrot, parsnip, kentang) yang dipotong in big chunks (sbb nk rebus lama takut kalau potong halus sgt sayur jd lembik). Kacau sebati.

4. Kemudian, masukkan balik daging yang telah digoreng tadi, dan masukkan 1 tin chopped tomato. Kalau ade worchester sauce, renjiskan skit. Kacau sebati.

5. Kemudian masukkan beef/lamb stock (aku short cut jek, pakai lamb/beef stock cube pastu bancuh dlm air panas), fresh rosemary dan bay leaf.

6. Give a quick stir pastu biar kejap atas api.

7. Kita nak lembutkan daging tu so it will take you another 3-4 hours kalau pakai dapur (I think). So what I did, cover periuk dgn aluminium foil n masukkan dlm oven. Cepat skit masak (dlm 1-1 1/2 jam). Bile daging dah lembut (yg ni kene check sendiri), keluarkan dari oven pastu bole masukkan garam dan kalau aku, brown sugar nk kasi balance skit rase die.

Memang lame nk masak stew ni, tp percayelah hasil die mmg berbaloi. Pastu bole panaskan byk kali mkn smpi esoknye. Sesuai dimkn dgn nasi panas, or roti.

Selamat mencuba!

Teddy bear Music - Temptation Town (Aleksandar Dimitrijevic)

2011-02-09T16:45:00.001Z

I first heard this tune on Sky for Boardwalk Empire Sky Atlantic promo. I've always been a fan of instrumental tunes regardless of my lack of ability to play any musical instrument. I appreciate any kind of music as long as it doesn't burst my eardrums or make me puke. :P

Enjoy. :)

Birthday choc cupcakes (with lemon buttercream & sugar balls)

2011-02-04T19:31:00.007Z

For Mawaddah's 2nd birthday, we decided to bake her cupcakes. We don't usually celebrate birthdays, but we thought baking as a family was as much fun as any celebration.

Happy birthday Mawaddah.

Love,
Ibu & Ayah

Kehilangan

2011-01-31T16:31:00.003Z

Saya dah lama 'hilang' dari arena blogging. Sibuk dengan kerja yang tertunggak, yang semakin hari semakin membukit. Yang tak hilang, penyakit M.A.L.A.S. Hmmmm..

Sebut pasal kehilangan, kawan baik saya Nazirah Abd Rahim, baru saja kehilangan ayahanda tercinta awal bulan lepas. Saya sedih, sebab saya tak dapat bersama dia di saat dia perlukan teman. Tapi saya tahu dia seorang yang tabah dan kuat semangat.

Baru-baru ini, jiran saya (jiran mak ayah saya sebenarnya) kehilangan anak lelakinya. Asalnya, jatuh di bilik air. Mak saya turut trauma, sebab dia nampak wajah Allahyarham yang biru dan pucat terduduk di lantai bilik air. Bantuan ambulans lambat tiba (mereka telefon Sime Darby Medical Centre pada mulanya, tapi ambulans tak ada ketika itu) sebab terpaksa datang dari PJ (ambulans PPUM) dan kemudian sesat cari rumah. Mereka (mak, ayah, jiran-jiran lain) merungut, patutnya ambulans dilengkapi dengan peralatan GPS. Dalam keadaan panik, bukan mudah untuk memberikan maklumat yang tepat. Allahyarham meninggalkan 4 orang anak, termasuk anak bongsu yang baru berusia 4 bulan. Ya, dia sudah pun kehilangan ayah sebelum sempat mengenalinya.

Bukan mudah menghadapi kehilangan orang tersayang. Baik keluarga atau sahabat. Ajal maut ketentuan Allah. Dia yang Maha Mengetahui. Segala apa yang berlaku, pasti ada hikmahnya. Namun, kenyataannya tidak semudah itu. Yang termampu, bersabar dan berdoa semoga Allah memudahkan segala urusan. Semoga kita redha dengan ketentuanNya.

27 Januari 2011. Kami kehilangan bakal ahli baru keluarga kami. Walaupun hanya berusia 8 minggu (keguguran), kehilangannya tetap kami rasai. Semoga Allah kuatkan semangat kami sekeluarga, dan murahkan rezeki kami. AMIN.

Vocabulary of a 19-month

2010-09-29T22:02:00.003+01:00

Mawaddah, at the age of 19 months;

Ibu - Babu
Ayah - Ayah
Mawaddah - Dada
Buka (jaket, kasut, etc) - 'kak
Tidur - tidoh (emphasise on the 'doh')
Kasut - shoe
Susu - shu
Bye - bye
Hello - hello
Nenek - Nenek
Mak Lang (Ana) - Nana
Kasut Mawaddah - Shoe Dada
Teddy bear(s) - bear

She will 'salam-cium tgn' (occasionally followed by a kiss) Babu & Ayah (and others) when ask to do so. She likes pasta dishes of any kind and loves chicken curry with rice.

On the other hand, she now prefers not to wear her nappy; constantly taking them off for no apparent reason. We have resorted to Pull-up Pants (Pampers) & Little Walker (Huggies) while she's awake and hope that she won't figure that out anytime soon.

Mawaddah@Uncle Ruslan's surprise bday party

Mawaddah@Uncle Zarif&Bob's farewell party

Mawaddah@Q Garden - plum picking

Mawaddah - helping Ibu & Ayah with choco chip cookies

Mawaddah & her 'Babu' @ Bella Italia

My daughter is growing, so fast. I would not want to miss it for the world.

Thank you Allah for this gift. Alhamdulillah. :)

Tiba-tiba

2010-09-06T23:18:00.004+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Ramadhan dah nk sampai penghujungnya. Rasa sekejap sgt. Kerja plak menimbun. Itu lah bahana kerja last minute. Hmmm... tiba-tiba, teringat Surah Al-Asr.

Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani
Demi Masa! (1) Sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian; (2) Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh dan mereka pula berpesan-pesan dengan kebenaran serta berpesan-pesan dengan sabar (3)" (Sumber: QuranExplorer)

Pastu terngiang2 plak nasyid Raihan "Demi Masa" (bait2 antaranya dari hadis Rasullah).

Ingat 5 perkara sebelum 5 perkara. Sihat sebelum sakit, muda sebelum tua, kaya sebelum miskin, LAPANG sebelum SEMPIT, hidup sebelum mati.

Memang terkena batang hidung la senang cite. Papehal, perjuangan perlu diteruskan. Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan. AMIN.

Tiba-tiba teringat ade 7 hari (rasenye) puasa Nazar yg x berbayar lg. Azam nk selesaikan semua hutang puasa bulan Syawal ni. Sekali lg, semoge dipermudahkan.

Tiba-tiba, sejak 2 menjak ni, suke plak dgr lagu2 Faizal Tahir. Berbakat jugak mamat ni, cume itu la imej die aku x bape berkenan. Takpe la, aku bknnye peminat fanatik. Suka dgr lagu die jek.

Tiba-tiba, Mawaddah cirit-birit. Kesian plak tgk die, cume lega sbb dienye aktif mcm biase, cume terlebih lawas. Harap2 die cepat sembuh. Siap bole buat kuih raya lagi.

Ok tu je. Tiba-tiba rase mengantuk plak. :)

Nasi 60 sen

2010-07-20T15:43:00.003+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Tghari td goreng ayam salut bread crumb+rencah goreng. Baki bread crumb+rencah goreng+telur aku bulat2kan n goreng skali. Tibe2 mase mkn td, teringat kisah lama kt UTM dulu. Mase tu rasenye aku thn 2 kot, tgh beratur nk beli mkn tghari kt cafe CP (bdk2 UTM Skudai tau la tmpt ni). Aku beratur blkg seorang mamat ni, tgh pilih2 lauk. Dulu nasi+ayam@ikan+sayur dlm RM2.50 - 3.00. Aku cam biase, tiap2 hari camtu gak la lauk aku beli. Aku igt lg mase tu aku tgh tunggu die ambik ayam goreng (salut tepung), skali tu, bknnye die ambik ayam, instead die ambik tepung2 ayam goreng tu (slalu aku panggil serdak, btol ke bahase aku ni?!). Aku pon jenguk la dlm bekas tapau die, ade nasi (agak byk) + kuah kari@asam pedas + tepung2 ayam goreng td. Tu jek!! Die pegi kt kaunter, akak tu kate "60 sen". Entah kenape, aku x penah bercite dgn org psl peristiwa tu, smpi la aku rase last 3 years, aku bersembang dgn mak aku, aku bgtau cite ni kat mak aku. Perasaan aku mase tu, aku kesian. Mesti die x cukup duit nk mkn mcm biase. Sbb ape, x cukup duit tu, aku x pasti. Maybe biasiswa@PTPTN mmg x cukup, or die ni mmg jenis boros ke, aku x tau. Tapi mase tu aku pk maybe biasiswa@PTPTN x cukup kot.

Baru2 ni plak, kerajaan nak kurangkan biasiswa. Pastu plak hal harga minyak n gula naik. Aku bace blog + facebook, ade mixed responses. Ade yg kate kite patut bersyukur n berterima kasih dgn kerajaan sbb selama ni byk bantu kite. Saye setuju yg itu, tp sebenarnye byk lg yg kerajaan bole perbaiki. Kite x patut bergantung sepenuhnye pd kerajaan, nnt kite jd malas plak. Tp keperluan asas; makanan, pendidikan, kesihatan kene la dititik beratkan. Ade jugak yg membandingkan kite dgn Indonesia. Utk jd lebih baik, kite patut bandingkan diri kite dgn negara maju, kate Wawasan 2020 (ke dh terkubur dh cite2 ni?). Plus Indonesia, negara die besar 2x ganda kot dr Malaysia (ke lebih?). Rakyat lg ramai. Papepun, kite kan ade hak n tgjawab utk mengundi, jdnye gune la kelebihan tu dgn sebaik2nye.

Aku skrg pon ditanggung sepenuhnye oleh biasiswa kerajaan, and don't get me wrong, aku sgt2 bersyukur. Ayah aku + aku byr cukai tiap2 thn, sebahagian tgjwb sbg rakyat, dgn harapan duit yg mgkn yg x seberape tu dpt bantu anak2 bangse. N aku percaye ramai lg yg kt luar sane, same jugak rakyat yg bertgjwb x lupe byr income tax. Kebetulan research aku berkisar ttg public procurement, n jelas sekali adalah menjadi tgjwb kerajaan utk mengurus selia hasil dr pembyran cukai dgn baik dan telus. Kite mesti nk sumbangan kite digunekan utk bende2 yg berfaedah. Bkn ape utk kepentingan anak cucu kite jugak kan. Mcm mane kalau anak or cucu kite nnt alami nasib yg same mcm mamat nasi 60sen td?

Mesti sedih kan.

-Pendapat org biase-

Buku kanak2 kembali!

2010-07-08T17:10:00.012+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Kaum ibu dan (bakal ibu) sekalian,

Seperti tahun lepas, berikut adalah senarai buku kanak-kanak untuk dijual. Buat makluman, semua buku tersebut adalah baru (bkn used books) dan berkulit keras (hard cover).

Book 1 - Big Flaps Book (booked)

Book 2 - Big Flaps Book

Book 3 - Big Flaps Book (booked)

Book 4 - 'Draw & Wipe Clean' book (booked)

Book 5 - 'Draw & Wipe Clean' book (booked)

Book 6 - 'Jigsaw - Soft to touch' book (booked)

Book 7 - Big Flaps book (booked)

Book 8 - 'Make-it-move' book (booked)

Book 9 - 'Make-it-move' book

Book 10 - Pop-up book

Book 11 - Pop-up & Play book (1)

Book 11 - Pop-up & Play book (2)

Book 12 - Pop-up & Play book (1) - not suitable for under 36months

Book 12 - Pop-up & Play book (2) - not suitable for under 36months

Book 13 - Pop-up & Play book (1) - not suitable for under 36months

Book 13 - Pop-up & Play book (2) - not suitable for under 36months

Harga yang ditawarkan tidak termasuk kos penghantaran. Bagi pembelian melebihi RM 50 (dalam satu transaksi), penghantaran adalah percuma. Anda hanya perlu membuat pembayaran sebaik sahaja penghantaran dibuat (tiada 'booking fee').

Anda boleh membuat tempahan melalui laman blog ini sekarang, atau di alamat email huda_wahid81@yahoo.com, dengan menyatakan no buku yang berkenaan, nama dan alamat emel untuk dihubungi. Buat masa ini, buku-buku di atas hanya terhad kepada 1 judul = 1 unit.

Penghantaran akan dibuat bermula 22 Oktober 2010 (memandangkan pada ketika itu saya, insya-Allah, berada di Malaysia).

Sebarang pertanyaan boleh diajukan di ruangan 'comment' blog ini.

Marilah sama-sama menanamkan minat membaca kepada anak-anak kita.

Terima kasih kepada mereka yang membeli sebelum ini. Terima kasih di atas sokongan anda. :)

Renee Olsted - A Love That Will Last

2010-06-18T18:07:00.001+01:00

I was introduced to her tunes by my younger sister somewhere in 2006, I think. And, this song is my favourite. I'm not really a 'jazz' fanatic, but I do enjoy good songs regardless the genre. Just thought of sharing this video. Enjoy!

Strawberries

2010-06-16T21:02:00.010+01:00

It was a fine Sunday morning, and Q Garden PYO (Pick-Your-Own) is now open for strawberry picking. It is located near Abingdon, 20-minute drive from Headington, Oxford. The system is Pick-Pay-Eat, but we did take 2-3 strawberries each for tasting. We've been here last year, and the fruits are simply marvellous. Even one could swear these are the best strawberries that she ever tasted. Now we could actually tell people, there are such thing as SWEET strawberries. We just can't wait for cherry season to come, and hopefully I will take the time (then) to update this blog on the ever sweet black cherries of Q Garden.

Hays - to protect the strawberries from slugs and snails

2 suspiciously-looking newbies (hehehe)

The Big-Eater of the day. Highly suspicious.

She could have finished the whole basket, if weren't for us taking the strawberries away.

I think this was her 7th strawberry. Just look at her top. (Bijak2, pakaikan anak baju putih)

The newbies caught on camera.

These strawberries looked like tomatoes, don't you think?

Mawaddah finally had enough.

For those who are planning to do some fruit picking this summer, Q Garden is the place to go. You can visit their website from time to time to check on what's available at the Pick-Your-Own garden.

Enjoy your summer, while it still here. :)

Alahai anakku..

2010-04-14T11:26:00.003+01:00

Hari ni, Mawaddah 14 bulan 10 hari. Dan sejak dia genap 1 thn, dia dah pandai jalan, memanjat, tumbuh gigi 2 btg yg agak senget, bercakap (bahasa yg org lain x paham) dan yg paling penting meniru perbuatan org (yg ni agak bahaya, skali die tiru cara pasang oven ke, pasang api dapur ke..). Dlm kesibukan buat research ni, sempat juga la merakam saat2 Mawaddah menunjukkan 'skill2' baru khas buat tatapan atok, nenek, tok, tok ki, makcik2 & pakcik2.

Nota : Cubaan pakai kasut sendiri berlaku di St Austell Cornwall Travelodge. Sila abaikan suara2 latar yg kurang sedap tu... hehe

Nota : Ni pulak cubaan nak keluar ke laman belakang. Cuaca x berapa mengizinkan, jadi tak dapat la Mawaddah main. Kesian, berusaha jugak nk keluar. :)

Alahai anak ibu ni..

Spring is finally here.

2010-03-05T17:32:00.003Z

All of us here in the UK would have to say that we had enough with the agonising cold winter for the past 3 months. It was exciting for the first few days, then it turned into depressing and even hazardous with slippery roads and poor road visibility (plus the unbearable coldness).

Praise to Allah.

Spring is finally here.

Snow@Oxford

2010-01-06T14:29:00.007Z

It's January, and it's already snowing in Oxford. Last year it was in February and I was in John Radcliffe Hospital, in labour with Mawaddah. So I didn't get the chance to really enjoy the snow.

It rarely snow in Oxford, and today it was particularly heavy. Most schools are closed for the day, and roads are covered with thick snow.

We took Mawaddah out to the back garden, and took some photos to share with the family. Enjoy the pics!

Address

2009-12-15T12:51:00.005Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

For someone who actually has a blog, I sure don't write as much as I suppose to. Even my research is not progressing as I wanted it to be, *sigh*. Argghhh... I hate myself.

Anyway, I don't want to (refuse to) talk about my research. I feel like I talked too much about to not actually work on it. So, enough talk, more action please.

Let's talk about address. Yup, address, as in where you reside; your house number, the street, postcode, town, state, country. Why address, you say? It seems nowadays people can just simply write any address without having anyone else validating it. For instance, you can just write any address (as you wish) to acquire a bank account, register for college/university (they might refer to yout MyKad, but even that address is questionable) and even apply for MyKad. I recently applied for a new MyKad (something wrong with the chip), JPN didn't ask me to provide any supporting documents to prove my address. I'm still using my parents' home address and they've been living there since 1986 till now. What if the address is no longer valid? What if the address is no longer ours? I guess it won't be a problem, as they don't seem to care.

We even received a letter from The One Academy, addressed to someone named Lim *** ****, which without doubt, is not part of Wahid's household. The letter was about college fees which yet to be paid by this 'Lim'. Oh well, good luck to One Academy. Hope they're able to find Lim and ask him to pay up and actually provide a valid address.

Back in UK, you have to provide proof of address for most transactions. Utility bills, council tax statements, bank statements, with your full name and coresponding address on it. Such pain in the ass, isn't it? Can't blame them, they're just protecting their interest.

Why not, for once, we adopt something good from them. It's about time, don't you think?

P/S: Benda baik, apa salahnya kan?

Buku kanak-kanak part III

2009-09-23T11:02:00.013+01:00

Berikut adalah senarai terkini buku-buku untuk dijual. Buku-buku yang tidak terjual dalam 'posting' sebelum ini telah dimasukkan semula dalam senarai terbaru ini.

Buku 1 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

Buku 2 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

Buku 3 - Pop-up book (booked)

Buku 4 - Big Flaps book (booked)

Buku 5 - Big Flaps book (booked)

Buku 6 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

Buku 7 - 'Soft to touch' book

Buku 8 - all booked

Buku 9 - Pop-up book

Buku 10 - Pop-up & Play book (1)

Buku 10 - Pop-up & Play book (2)

Buku 11 - 'Soft to touch' book (booked)

Buku 12 - 'Soft to touch' book (booked)

Buku 13 - Baby Dazzler book (booked)

Buku 14 - Drawing book

Buku 15 - Pop-up & Play book (1) - not suitable for under 36months

Buku 15 - Pop-up & Play book (2) - not suitable for under 36months

Buku 16 - Pop-up & Play book (1) - not suitable for under 36months

Buku 16 - Pop-up & Play book (2) - not suitable for under 36months

Harga yang ditawarkan tidak termasuk kos penghantaran. Bagi pembelian melebihi RM 50 (dalam satu transaksi), penghantaran adalah percuma. Anda hanya perlu membuat pembayaran sebaik sahaja penghantaran dibuat (tiada 'booking fee').

Anda boleh membuat tempahan melalui laman blog ini sekarang, atau di alamat email huda_wahid81@yahoo.com, dengan menyatakan no buku yang berkenaan, nama dan alamat emel untuk dihubungi. Buat masa ini, buku-buku di atas hanya terhad kepada 1 judul = 1 unit (kecuali Buku 10 ada 2 unit).

Penghantaran akan dibuat bermula 25 Oktober 2009 (memandangkan pada ketika itu saya berada di Malaysia).

Sebarang pertanyaan boleh diajukan di ruangan 'comment' blog ini.

Marilah sama-sama menanamkan minat membaca kepada anak-anak kita.

Terima kasih kepada yang telah membuat tempahan. :)

Buku kanak-kanak - part II

2009-09-12T14:13:00.017+01:00

Book 1 - Pop-up book (booked)

Book 2 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

Book 3 - Pop-up book (booked)

Book 4 - Pop-up book (booked)

Book 5 - Big Flaps book (booked)

Book 6 - Big Flaps book (booked)

Book 7 - Touch & Feel book

Book 8 - 'Soft to touch' book

Book 9 - ada 4 tema (Teatime, Bedtime, Bathtime & Day-out)
Day-out, Bedtime & Bathtime (booked)
Teatime - available

Book 10 - Pop-up book (tinggal 1)

Book 11 - Pop-up & Play book (1) (booked)

Book 11 - Pop-up & Play book (2) (booked)

Book 12 - Touch & Feel book

Book 13 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

Book 14 - 'Soft to touch' book

Book 15 - Baby Dazzler book

Book 16 - Touch & Feel book

Harga yang ditawarkan tidak termasuk kos penghantaran. Bagi pembelian melebihi RM 50 (dalam satu transaksi), penghantaran adalah percuma. Anda hanya perlu membuat pembayaran sebaik sahaja penghantaran dibuat (tiada 'booking fee').

Anda boleh membuat tempahan melalui laman blog ini sekarang, atau di alamat email huda_wahid81@yahoo.com, dengan menyatakan no buku yang berkenaan, nama dan alamat emel untuk dihubungi. Buat masa ini, buku-buku di atas hanya terhad kepada 1 judul = 1 unit.

Penghantaran akan dibuat bermula 25 Oktober 2009 (memandangkan pada ketika itu saya berada di Malaysia).

Sebarang pertanyaan boleh diajukan di ruangan 'comment' blog ini.

Marilah sama-sama menanamkan minat membaca kepada anak-anak kita.

Buku kanak-kanak utk dijual (buku baru pada harga menarik)

2009-09-06T14:51:00.011+01:00

Kaum ibu dan (bakal ibu) sekalian,

Berikut adalah senarai buku kanak-kanak untuk dijual. Buat makluman, semua buku tersebut adalah baru (bkn used books) dan berkulit keras (hard cover).

Perbandingan harga buku (penerbit yang sama, jenis yang sama *sila rujuk buku 11) yang dijual di Kinokuniya.

BUKU 1 - Baby Dazzler book (booked)

BUKU 2 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

BUKU 3 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

BUKU 4 - Touch & Feel book (booked)

BUKU 5 - Pop-up book (booked)

BUKU 6 - Big Flaps book (booked)

BUKU 7 - Big Flaps book (booked)

BUKU 8 - Flaps & Touch & Feel book (booked)

BUKU 9 - Jigsaw book (booked)

Harga yang ditawarkan tidak termasuk kos penghantaran. Bagi pembelian melebihi RM 50 (dalam satu transaksi), penghantaran adalah percuma. Anda hanya perlu membuat pembayaran sebaik sahaja penghantaran dibuat (tiada 'booking fee').

Anda boleh membuat tempahan melalui laman blog ini sekarang, dengan menyatakan no buku yang berkenaan, nama dan alamat emel untuk dihubungi. Buat masa ini, buku-buku di atas hanya terhad kepada 1 judul = 1 unit.

Penghantaran akan dibuat bermula 25 Oktober 2009 (memandangkan pada ketika itu saya berada di Malaysia).

Sebarang pertanyaan boleh diajukan di ruangan 'comment' blog ini.

Marilah sama-sama menanamkan minat membaca kepada anak-anak kita.

*Memandangkan permintaan yang menggalakkan, saya akan menambah stok (sama ada judul yang sama, atau judul lain) pada sabtu dan ahad yang akan datang. Sekali lagi, Sebarang pertanyaan (atau permintaan) boleh diajukan di ruangan 'comment' blog ini.

Terima kasih kepada rakan-rakan (Yuda, Ajue & Dinna) di atas sokongan yang diberikan.

Pride & Joy

2009-08-14T10:36:00.006+01:00

Yes, it has been a while, and yes, I've changed the layout (not that anyone will notice).

I've been dreading to write a post, but of course, I was not in my creative mode for quite some time (which reminds me I need to look into my research writing soon before the end of this month!).

Oh well, I have so many things to manage. Email accounts (I have 4 email accounts; Yahoo! mail, Hotmail, Brookes mail, UTM webmail), Friendster (almost forgotten), Facebook and of course this blog. I really enjoy using Facebook to re-connect with my old friends and ex-students, and also share their happy moments through the photos in their pages; which also inspired me to write this entry.

One's happiness relies entirely on one's perception of happiness. A new car, job promotion, found love, etc. Being happy is never a bad thing, but don't forget to be thankful and grateful for the happiness. I was touched by this post from my high school junior. It is a good reminder, so thank you Am for the entry. We should not only be thankful when we're happy, we should be thankful for everything. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.

So, for this entry, I would like to share some footage of my (our) pride and joy.

Thank you Allah, for the health, the time and the strength.

Kenangan yg x berape indah

2009-07-15T21:22:00.005+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Dah lame x update blog. Dr Sepet asyik remind suruh update bile2 ade mase. Mase bkn xde, idea nak menulis tu yg xde. Dah byk curahkan idea menulis utk research progress yg dh lame bersawang tu. Hah, ambik ko! skali kene anta progress terus migrain aku. Lps jumpe supervisor jek, mesti pening tahap cipan. Malas la nk ngumpat psl En J. Aku bersyukur sbb Cik E ade. Bknnye die x komen, tp komen die membina skit. Kdg2 entry aku ni tulis full English, kdg2 BM ala2 SPM. Tp kali ni, aku malas nk pening2 kepale sbb urat saraf kt kepale aku ni dh berbelit2 nk menulis dlm English. "You need to be more argumentative, bla bla bla.. I expect in-depth discussion.. bla bla bla.. this is not how people write.. bla bla bla..." (igtkan aku jgn ngumpat psl En J. X berkat nnt..). Ok, per'setan'kan bende2 yg lps ni. Skrg kene lebih semangat, sbb td meeting dgn Cik E sgt2 membantu (ok la kalau nk compare dgn meeting2 sblm ni, oit! jgn ngumpat psl En J!). Which reminds me, esok aku kene submit bab methodology kat En J n Cik E spt yg dijanjikan by lunch time. (sempat lg update blog.. hmmm, talk about timing).

Tujuan entry ni sebenarnye bkn nk (skali lg) ngumpat En J, aku cume nk kongsi kenangan aku yg x bape indah mase zaman sek dulu. Tetibe plak teringat. Mule2 pk mcm segan plak nk bukak cite lame kt blog ni. Almaklum la, student2 aku pon bace blog aku. Tp aku mengharap sesape yg bace entry ni are mature enough not to 'relive' my not-so-good childhood memories, instead ambik sbg pengajaran (Ceh smpt lg tu..). Mase kt sek ren dulu, aku xde la tembam ala gedebab mcm skrg. Tp nk kate slim ala2 kurus kering pon x jugak. Sedang2 la. Yg penting, aku mmg dh pakai spek since Darjah 2. Disbbkan aku ni x kurus n x cun n pakai spek ala2 nerd (bknnye genius pon), bdk2 suke ejek aku. Ade jek name panggilan. Penah kt sek agame, mase tu aku Darjah 5 sek agame ptg. Sementare tunggu pakcik van dtg aku gi la gerai kt luar pagar sek nk beli jajan. Aku x pasti aku berlari2 anak ke, melompat ke, merayap ke, tp yg penting aku berjln dgn agak laju la ke gerai tu. Skali tu, tgh aku sedap2 mkn jajan (keropok mcm super ring, tp perisa ayam, bekas die kaler ijau), ade la sorang malaun ni, bdk darjah 4 naik same van dgn aku, dgn slambe ejek aku "oit, terkedek2, terkedek2, terkedek2.." (sile alunkan ejekan ini mengikut imaginasi anda). Aku mule2 malas nk layan, buat dek, smbl mkn keropok yg best. Makin lame makin kuat. Pastu siap ajak member2 die ejek aku skali. Panas la hati. Entah ape yg rasuk aku mase tu, sek agame ade subjek Khat, so aku ade bwk blade utk asah pensel. Aku kuarkan blade tu, aku kejar bdk2 ni. Macam org gile!!! Nasib baik ade sorang akak Darjah 6 kt situ. Die yg tenangkan aku (malangnye aku x igt name die). Since then, aku ade name baru, 'Pembunuh' plak! Bknnye ade org cedera pon. Tp serius, lps tu aku xde dah mengamuk x tentu pasal. Aku lg suke simpan dlm hati, biar meletup kt dalam (eerrr.. bkn lg bahaye ke?).

Mase Darjah 6 plak, kt sek keb, org ejek aku 'Gendut'. Yg best, bdk yg ejek aku tu perut buncit x igt. Tp die ade name lain, 'sotong' sbb die cam lembut2 skit. Aku gi sek keb kayuh basikal since Darjah 4. Ade 1 ptg ni, aku kayuh basikal cam biase. Skali tu, bas yg 2 org classmates aku naik lalu kt jalan tu. Aku panik gile, sbb aku tau sure aku kene ejek punye. Sikit lg nk smpi umah, aku kayuh la laju2 bagai nk gile. Of course la bas tu lg laju dr aku, n sempat la classmates aku tu nampak aku kayuh basikal. Aku sikit lg nk smpi umah ni, skali tu kedgran 1 paduan suare (dieorg siap ajak member satu bas dieorg yg xde kene mengene pon) yg amat kuat, dieorg jerit 'GENDUT'!!!!!!!! Dah le jiran2 aku tgh ramai main kt luar. Malu gile!!!!! &%#$^^%^%** (skali lg, gunakan imaginasi anda). Anyway, esoknye aku kenekan dieorg plak kt sek, memandangkan sorang tu kurus nk mampos mcm btg lidi (aku rase lidi lg berisi dr die) n sorang tu pendek (for a guy la).

Tp aku rase, bab2 ejek mengejek ni kene ade had la. Mmg la, sape yg x penah kene ejek (unless you're like super cool, super hot, perfect giler babas). Cume kalau dh nmpk org tu dh gile annoyed, I think bwk2 berenti la (oh well, that's the whole point, to annoy someone?). Kalau dh smpi memalukan, x ke naye org tu? Ade setgh org jiwa die mmg strong, ade setgh layu menanti luruh. Buatnye tibe2 meroyan cam aku mase Darjah 5, sape yg susah?!

Anyway, entry kali ni pon cam ala2 emo gak. Aku ni kdg2 emosi x bape stabil. Tp sejak2 ade anak ni, makin byk bersabar la. Lgpon usia makin meningkat, kene bwk2 berubah la kan (nasihat utk diri sendiri sbenarnye). Ok, terime kasih sbb bace bebelan aku. And sorry to waste your precious time. see ya! :)

Kisah Aku & Lisa

2009-06-23T17:18:00.006+01:00

Tiada yang lebih sedih bagi seorang ibu melihat anaknya menderita (sakit), walaupun anak itu belum tahu apa erti derita (kesakitan).

Melahirkan anak bukanlah suatu perkara yang mudah, dan aku amat terhutang budi, terhutang nyawa dengan ibuku, bergadai nyawa hanya untuk melahirkan aku yang bila sudah pandai berkata-kata, hanya pandai mengguris hatinya.

Lisa, yang aku kenal dalam jangka masa yang amat singkat, merupakan rakan berbual semasa di John Radcliffe Hospital. Seorang yang sangat rendah diri dan baik hati budinya. Aku menjadi tempat dia meluahkan perasaan bila waktu melawat sudah berakhir. Perasaan sedih dan hiba kerana tidak dapat bersama anak perempuannya yang baru dilahirkan. Tess terpaksa ditahan di wad khas kanak-kanak kerana terpaksa bergantung kepada alat bantuan (photovoltic light, glucose drip, etc). Aku hanya mampu menghulurkan simpati saja. Semua ini kuasa Allah.

Rupa-rupanya Lisa juga seorang peminat novel. Kebetulan dia nampak aku membaca (sebuah buku yang aku pinjam dari hospital, yang kemudiannya aku beli atas tujuan kebajikan). Dia mencadangkan sebuah novel "Those Faraday Girls" karya Monica McInerney. Dia bercadang untuk mengirimkan novel tersebut melalui pos setelah dia dan Tess dibenarkan pulang ke rumah.

Kini sudah hampir 4bulan sejak pertemuan kami di John Radcliffe Hospital. Novel yang dijanjikan telah tiba pagi tadi. Dia masih ingat rupanya. Yang membuatkan aku bertambah terharu ialah kata-kata Lisa dalam suratnya;

"I wanted to say thank you for your very kind note. The day you left was a very difficult one for me as they had to put Tess on the drip again after taking it out. I think I must have gone to sleep when you left, so I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. Your note did make me feel better though, so thank you..."

Aku harap persahabatan yang terjalin dalam masa yang singkat ini akan berkekalan.

Thank you, Lisa, from the bottom of my heart.

Sense of belonging

2009-06-06T05:16:00.007+01:00

I've been leaving in Subang Jaya, practically my whole life. My family (then it was only Mak, Ayah, Izad and me) moved to Subang Jaya from Kg Pandan when I was 5/6 years old.

I went to a pre-school in SS19, and 6 years of primary education in Sek Ren Keb Subang Jaya in SS14/5. I did also attend religious school, Sek Agama Masjid Darul Ehsan in SS15 near the local masjid.

Then, I went to JB for my secondary education and later my tertiary in UTM Skudai. I think that it was when I lost my sense of belonging towards Subang Jaya. I've left behind my friends from my early years in school. I have close friends then, but now as if we are total strangers. I was able to track back my old friends via Facebook and Friendster, but browsing through their pages, I can't get myself connected to them even we've been together in the same class for 6 years.

Perhaps, I'm being a bit emotional about this (as always), but I suppose I'm not the only one. Then again, I was the one who moved away (went to boarding school, etc), and I can still call Subang Jaya as my hometown. I wonder how others feel, for those who practically never reside in one place in such a long time. Constantly having to change schools, make new friends. However, I believe everyone of us has his/her own sense of belonging. If you ask me, I would say Subang Jaya and JB as both of these places were where I grew up, mature and learn about life.

And now, I'm going to add other places to the list; Oxford and Ajil, Terengganu. As an old saying; Jauh perjalanan, luas pandangan. :)

BBQ @ summer in Oxford

2009-05-30T21:05:00.003+01:00

My family is here. The whole family. Izad just graduated from Colorado School of Mines, and decided to take a detour before going back to Malaysia. My parents and sisters are here for approx 15 days to see our place, and of course to hold their 1st grand daughter for the 1st time.

We've been planning to have a BBQ since we have the space to do so. We've invited some close friends over to join our small gathering.

I suppose there's no word to describe my feelings right now. Content, happy, and blessed. Alhamdulillah.

Mak, Izad, Ana & Abg Hisyam

Ayah

Me & Mak

The daughter & the father

Picnic@Millets Farm

2009-05-25T15:10:00.007+01:00

On Sunday, Kak Tik & Bro Din invited us to join them for a picnic at Millets Farm. This place is great for family's outing; they have relatively large area for picnics, playground for kids, restaurant, farm shop, fruit picking and garden warehouse. We had ice creams too, and it was ludicrously delicious! (mine strawberry 'seduction' ice cream with real strawberries in it!)

Please ignore the 'bulging' tummy. I know, the baby's out, but the fat is still there! hahaha..

We're planning to bring the Wahid's clan (my family) to Millets Farm. I bet they going to love it. :)

Allotment Kak Tik@Wolfson College

2009-05-25T14:48:00.006+01:00

Saiful came to visit on Saturday, and Kak Tik & Bro Din invited us all to their house. Had a lovely 'nasi kerabu' (mind you, I had seconds, as usual!) and Kak Tik took us to her allotment. She's very passionate about DIY gardening and she knows a lot about what and how to plant. I took some photos for our future references... (hehe, we've started our own gardening too, more stories here)

Gooseberry

Lettuces

Potatoes

Kak Tik

Took some photos around Wolfson College. Ah.. I love spring/summer.

Aqua babies

2009-05-25T14:31:00.004+01:00

Wanted to get Mawaddah into swimming as early as possible. Just my luck, got this decent swimsuit for her for just GBP2.99 from the charity shop.

Ibu, let's go for a swim! (yes dear, we have to wait until you're 4 months old, ok?)

It's a small world after all.

2009-05-22T11:36:00.003+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

A friend of mine wrote something about six degrees of separation in her blog not so long time ago, and I assume everyone of us had experienced something like this before.

My good friend from my UTM years, Naz, came for a visit, and we took her to a small gathering here in Oxford. She ended up meeting her long lost neighbour from her childhood (Umi), and their mothers (Umi's and Naz's) were once schoolmates.

I've been living in Subang Jaya for almost 25years now, and recently I've found out that Umi and her family have stayed in Subang Jaya before, in fact their house was near to my parents' and we went to the same primary school. She's 1 year older so we never had the chance to meet.

Umi and I were born in the same hospital, Assunta Hospital, but of course different years.

It is definitely a small world after all. :)

Pertama Kali Bertudung

2009-05-15T05:19:00.005+01:00

Hadiah dari Tok & Tok Ki. Bole cover skit 'keluasan' dahi, hehehe.. :)
Baju Atok & Nenek bagi blom bole pakai lg. Tunggu Mawaddah besar skit..
Terima kasih Tok, Tok Ki, Atok, Nenek sbb bagi hadiah kt Mawaddah.

At the age of 3 (months)

2009-05-03T20:55:00.005+01:00

By the age of 3, Mawaddah is able to;

.....'cepuk' Ayah's (and Ibu's) face when she's annoyed

.....lying on her front on her own

By the age of 3, she had 3 immunisations;

1. BCG
2. Diphtheria/tetanus/pertussis/polio/Haemophilus Influenzae
3. Pneumococcal infection

...and she's one tough baby, I tell you. (After immunisation no.2 and 3, which were done on the same day, she went back to sleep!) Alhamdulillah. By the way, she's due for another immunisation end of this month.

Despite of many comments about introducing 'dummies' to babies, we chose to give her one anyway, just to help her to sleep. Once she's asleep, she lets go of the dummy herself. :)

That's all for now. Will update from time to time.

Mawaddah yg semakin cerdik.

2009-04-25T09:55:00.009+01:00

Mawaddah buat aksi mendade.

Mawaddah yg pasrah semase dibuli oleh Ibu & Ayah.

Mawaddah yg 'annoyed'.

Mawaddah yg skrg suke sgt dipegang.

Mawaddah yg terpinga2.

Mawaddah yg tgh geram dgn jari Ayah.

Mawaddah, anak Ibu & Ayah.

Picnic in the garden

2009-04-20T19:31:00.006+01:00

Black sheep

2009-04-20T11:19:00.005+01:00

"Black sheep is an English language idiom which describes an odd or disreputable member of a group, especially within one's family. The term has typically been given negative implications, implying waywardness. It derived from the untypical and unwanted presence of black woolled individuals in herds of sheep, which was undesirable because wool from such sheep could not be dyed."

"A worthless or disgraced member of a family."

It sounded so demeaning, and I never like the idea. However, there's always the case where in any family, there's always someone who is the 'under-achiever', the 'outcast' if you like, and this person could turn out to be 'the disgraced member of a family' or totally the opposite.

I would like to think that it is a matter how parents and the other siblings deal with this kind of situation, without prejudice and denying one's right to be treated equally as others in the family. The same treatment, the equal opportunity to become the best that one could be.

However, it's easier to be said than to be done. In reality, nobody's the same which means no treatment would be equally the same. All parents want the best for their children, no matter what. At the same time, parents are still normal human beings, who make mistakes once a while.

To make things work for the family, I suppose that each and everyone should make some sort of compromising. The parents should accept the fact that no child is the same and the child should think what's best for the family and him/herself.

Then again, this is just my humble opinion, which subject to any comment and discretion. This is just me, being emotional, as always. :)

Don't judge a book by its cover.

2009-04-15T22:45:00.002+01:00

I'm not much of a reality show fan, I do watch them sometimes but never voted or so what ever. Here in UK, it's not much different from Malaysia. In fact I think the Brits are so obsessed with reality shows and believe me, they really do. You name it, from scouting for talents to finding the best British dish.

I enjoy watching some of them, but what struck me the most is this episode of Britain Got Talent. She's definitely a gem. She has such a beautiful voice and for me honestly, she doesn't need any other package to be a great singer someday.

Enjoy!

Kenape aku .....??

2009-04-13T19:29:00.002+01:00

Sebenarnye byk keje. Melambak yang tertangguh. Yela, dh bape lame cuti dr buat keje research. Tapikan, smpi skrg progress tersgt la slow!! Kenape la aku ni malas sgt??!! Tolong!!!!

Foto terbaru Mawaddah

2009-04-02T07:02:00.004+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

Terima kasih buat Auntie Naz yg 'post'kan gambar2 ini di 'Facebook'.

Untuk tatapan Tok Ki, Tok & pakcik2 & makcik2 di Ajil, Atok, Nenek & makcik2 di Subang Jaya, Pak Ngah Izad di Colorado.

Nota : Ini foto2 bayi yang baru sahaja berumur 2 bulan. (ade rupe mcm 2 bulan ke? x kesah la kan Mawaddah, yg penting sihat & ceria)

Postnatal eating disorder?

2009-03-26T15:27:00.002Z

Hi.

Since having Mawaddah, I've been eating 'excessively'. I'm back to my old habit; snacking between meals. This is not good for my slimming-toning-down regime. I need to lose weight desperately as I'm considered over-weight/obese (based on my BMI reading).

I can't help the cravings, so I've resorted to healthy snacks; cereals with milk, fruits, etc apart from other not-so-healthy e.g. crisps, desserts, ice cream, etc. I'm not much of a chocolate-olic, which helps with dieting department.

I'm not ambitious in everything I do, and this slimming regime is no-exceptional. I just want to be healthy. Period.

and honestly, I'm still not convinced that I can. For now. :)

Responsibility

2009-03-04T16:40:00.002Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

Mawaddah is 1 month old today. How time flies, which reminds me of the 4-month backdated research work piled up just dusting away in my hard drive. And I really need to update my progress with my supervisors. I've been absent for quite some time; they must have 'missed' me by now.

Not that I'm totally burned out with my research, it's just that I get easily tired now. Physically tired, with this new sleeping pattern. I'm not the type of person who likes to take naps in the day, or wake up late in the morning. But I didn't get enough sleep ever since my later period of pregnancy and now with a baby in the family, I wake up late (the latest at 8.30am) almost everyday. Alhamdulillah, Hisyam is very helpful with Mawaddah and let me sleep on. Mawaddah is wonderful, although she does wake up in the middle of the night every 3-4 hours for her feed and nappy change. Sometimes she just wants a cuddle. What every baby wants.

I don't really want to write about my baby's routine; not that I'm unhappy or less enthused about her. Believe me, she's now the centre of my attention, and Hisyam's. That's why I thought writing on responsibility and obligation would make much better sense; not just being a parent, but being a person, period.

We started off not having any responsibility, and gradually our role evolve as we get older. I remembered my sister once told me that she wouldn't want to learn how to drive the car, as she thought it will require a lot of responsibility. And I remembered how I reminded her that she already has a lot of responsibility for just being human; as a child to your parents, as a sister/brother to your younger siblings, as a friend, as a student, as a being to its Creator. A husband/wife to your partner, a parent to your children.

I'm used to being the 'responsible' one. Being the eldest daughter, I always feel that my parents, especially my dad were 'extra' hard on me. As a teenager, who didn't understand (or at least refuse to understand) that the parents were just doing their job and responsibility to their child, I tend to disappoint my parents with my rebellious behaviour. To my everlasting regret, I'm sorry Mak, Ayah.

And now, I'm looking through their eyes, as new parents with a baby to care for. My experience so far, has taught me one thing (among others); the hardship and sacrifice of raising a child to every his/her needs. And imagined, how my parents felt when I raised my voice, when I talked back, when I disobeyed them. How rude. How ungrateful.

I still have the time to make up for my wrong doings. I still have the time to remind my siblings of appreciating Mak & Ayah and the importance of being respectful to them. Plus I now can educate my own daughter to become a better person than myself. This I promise, Insya-Allah.

Anak

2009-02-23T15:51:00.003Z

Suatu amanah, anugerah Ilahi
Rasa kasih sayang yang tak berbelah bagi
Semenjak dalam kandungan lagi
Alunan Al-Quran didendang dari hari ke hari

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya dia lahir ke dunia
Sihat, sempurna, sejahtera
Hadiah berharga buat Ayah & Ibu berdua
Penyambung zuriat, penyeri rumahtangga

Syukur dipanjat kepada Allah
Atas kurniaan rezeki & anugerah
Seorang anak bernama Mawaddah
Lambang cinta kasih Ibu & Ayah
Nota : Dalam 'mood' sentimental. Hasil karya secara spontan, namun lahir dari jiwa & raga, ikhlas dari seorang ibu.

Drama Melayu

2009-02-17T13:25:00.008Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

Ingatkan nak menulis tentang anak, tapi nak tunggu ade idea dulu. Sekarang ni tgh 'cuti' berpantang walaupun sebenar2nye dh lame ber'cuti' dari buat keje research. Rase bersalah sebenarnye tapi penyakit MALAS tu masih kuat lagi. Moge2 dgn kedatangan ahli baru ni membawa semangat baru. Almaklum la, tanggungjawab dh makin besar skrg. "Sorry ye bang, Huda jd pemalas sgt.. :)"

Dalam mengisi mase lapang, cube 'catch-up' balik dgn drama2 melayu kt tv3.com.my, antarenye SpaQ 2, Kasanova XXL, Fara S3 & Pemanduku Jutawan. 4 drama bersiri ni different genre, which undeniably ade yg agak 'lame', tapi rase rindu nak tgk drama melayu punye la kuat jadi daku layankan aje.

SpaQ mmg aku follow mase kt Msia dulu. SpaQ 2 ni mule2 mcm boring, so aku mule tgk bile dh episod 30. Well, it is fairly predictable, so I'm not worried if I missed some of the episodes (then again, you can always watch them online). Same old, same old; excessive make-up, revealing wardrobe, betrayal, board meetings, etc. Aku paling suke watak Qistina dan Norish Karman mmg sesuai dgn watak tu. Aku x bape suke Azizah Mahzan bwk watak Marlia sbb care die berckp mcm tak bape terang, mcm tergagap2 skit. Plus the fact that rambut die sgt la keras, ok.. Aku ade la sedikit menyampah tgk artis2 melayu wanita ni pakai mmg x igt akhirat punye, but then again what can you expect from them? However on a more positive note, it's good that they've included something about family values; bagaimane kecewanye ibu bile satu2nye anak lelaki die x percayekan die. Itu aku puji.

Yang ni plak komedi. Mule2 aku x minat nk tgk tp dah boring sgt, aku cube2 la. Skali tu mcm best la plak. Based on the title, you can guess what the story is all about. Lelaki yg 'obese', low self esteem, kaki chatting and guess what, pretending to be someone he's not. So predictable. Yg best tu die menyamar jd abg die. Pelakon Shaheizy Sam yg semmgnye x 'obese' telah digemukkan dgn sgtla budgetnye ala2 Erra Fazira dlm Cinta Kolestrol (maybe David Teo spent a little more, if I got the wrong producer so sorry ah Uncle David!). Well skrg cite ni dh smpi part yg mane mamat 'obese' ni kene diet dgn bantuan abg die (lakonan Rusdi Ramli) and awek abg die (lakonan Nanu). Aku suke cite ni sbb lakonan dieorg sume mmg bersahaje, mmg real mcm adek beradek. Cume aku x bape setuju on the idea of lelaki gemuk susah nk dpt awek. Dah kalau taste ko ppuan kurus ramping mmg la susah. Pokok pangkalnye, kene realistic la. Aku rase ppuan gemuk (ehem.. aku termasok la tu) lagi susah nk dpt pakwe, sbb kalau die nk mulekan, pastu skali kene reject lagi malu. (Emo la plak, mcm ade pengalaman jek.. cite lame, x perlu dikenang ye x?). Anyway, aku akan follow cite ni smpi habis, walaupun sebenarnye aku dh bole agak ending die camne.

Fara ni dh masok siri ketiga pon. Cume kali ni jadi makin serius. Ade cintun2 skit. Dah abis dah pon siri 3 ni, can't wait for the next series.

Sekali lg sitcom yang menampilkan DJ radio sbg pelakon utama. Honestly, Fara Fauzana is much much better than Faizal. Tp mcm aku ckp seblm ni, layankan aje. Siri ni kalau x tgk sume episod xpe, sbb antare episod xde kaitan sgt. Personally, aku rase cite agak boring, sbb tu aku x tgk sume episod. Sekadar menghilangkan rase rindu dgr org ckp bahase melayu. Tu jek.

Okla, entry kali ni sgt la kelam kabut, dr segi penggunaan bahase. Carca merba. Mcm air batu campur. Sorry ye kpd pakar2 & pencinta2 bahase.

Masya-Allah

2009-02-11T17:46:00.002Z

Assalamualaikum wbt.

It has been a while since my last entry. Been busy; coping with a long pregnancy, moving to a new house, and well, 'malas sebenarnye'. As some of you might know, I've safely delivered a beautiful (Masya-Allah) baby girl on the 4th of February at 11.49am in John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford, after a long 14-hour labour. If any of you ask me, "sakit x beranak?" and I'll honestly say, "Ye, teramat la sakit, tp trust me, sumenye berbaloi.."

The pain and agony of giving birth, has taught me a lot, but the most valuable lesson that I've learned having gone through the process myself, is that I can't never reward my mother enough even with all the money, energy and time that I could ever have. "Kasihkan ibu membawa ke syurga." Mak, terima kasih kerana melahirkan, membesarkan dan didikanmu. Kesabaranmu tidak terbalas. Huda sayang Mak.

Sorry for being rather emotional. It's just that, I'm missing my mother, a lot.

Mawaddah is 1 week old now. She sleeps through the day, wakes up occasionally for feeding and nappy changing. And without fail so far wakes up at 1.30am and again at 4.30am. She's quite a challenge, but Alhamdulillah, she's content for most of the time. Senang jage dan x byk karenah.

I have some of her latest photos, but I'm too lazy to transfer them from my handphone to my laptop. Perhaps some other time. If you're interested, please visit my husband's blog. I would like to express my gratitude to all who visited us both at the hospital and home (Kak Tik, Abg Din, Kak Rozi, Abg Wan, Kat, Amin, Yani, Abg Rosli, Kak Non sekeluarga, Umi, Asean). Thank you to all who have helped us move to our new house (Kak Tik, Abg Din, Zul, Saiful, Asean & Yani) and on personal note, terima kasih yg x terhingge utk Kak Tik & Abg Din di atas sokongan & bantuan yg diberikan. Hanya Allah saja yang mampu membalas jasa kalian semua.

Until my next entry. Assalamualaikum.

Me @ 36 weeks

2009-01-05T19:10:00.006Z

I chose to put this latest photo of me, sitting down instead.

My last photo of 30-weeks pregnant had made quite the impression, mainly just how big my tummy was. Not that I mind, instead I appreciate all the comments. Thank you all for your concern and advise.

So this is me, smiling, waiting nervously for the delivery.
Can't wait to meet this little fellow.

Salam Maal Hijrah 1430.

The 1st time ever and I'm doing it away from home!

2008-12-19T12:23:00.004Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

Yesterday I had my 34-weeks appointment with the midwife. Alhamdulillah everything is fine; my blood pressure's normal, baby's heart beat is fine, uterus growth is spot on (34cm = 34 weeks) and the urine test turned out ok.

I've written before about my anxieties, but I suppose my main concern is that, I'm pregnant for the very 1st time, and I'm away from home, and guess what I'm going to take care of the baby (and myself) without help from Mak or Mok (my mother-in-law) after the birth during confinement period (as we called 'waktu berpantang'). Both of us (me & my husband) know this is going to be very challenging, but we both agreed this is another process of maturity; becoming parents.

I'm not sure about other countries, but here in the UK everything is paid for by National Health Service (NHS). From consultation to prescriptions, from conception until birth, everything is free of charge. For us, oversea students with limited fund, this is very helpful. The procedures and services provided are presumably different from Malaysia; UK being a developed country therefore has better health service than any developing nations.

What strikes to me as different here is that all mothers-to-be have to prepare Birth Plan and this Birth Plan will be discussed with the midwife, of course before the birth take place. I've discussed mine during my appointment with the midwife yesterday and Alhamdulillah everything is in place.

How did I manage to come up with this plan? During my 1st appointment with the midwife, she provided me with few booklets (again for free) to help me through pregnancy until birth and after the birth. By the way, here the midwives are the main person who deal with pregnant women, as compared to Malaysia whom you are dealt with doctors (GP or gynea). However if you are experiencing rather complicated pregnancy, you'll most probably have to work with O&G doctors or consultants.

Lately, I've been writing a lot about my pregnancy. I hope I didn't bore you in any way, but if I did, do accept my deepest apology. When you're happy+nervous+worried+overwhelmed, I guess by writing about those feelings will help to ease everything down. :)

These what Ibu & Ayah bought for you so far...

2008-12-16T10:23:00.009Z

My dearest baby-in-my-tummy,

Although with limited funds & tight budget, Alhamdulillah Ibu & Ayah managed to buy some few things for you honey (at very reasonable prices!).

A brand new cot (from Ikea at a very reasonable price) and some 'friends' for you.

Some 'friends' for you which we bought from the car boot sale
(Don't worry honey, Ibu had washed them for you..)
Patrick Starr - £0.50
Teddy bears - £6.00 (for both)
Cot mobile - £3.00

Fluffy books & Bath time book (We can read this when you take your baths!)
Fluffy books - £1.50 (each)
Bath time - £1.00

Chunky Safari & Pets (when you a little bit older)
Ibu & Ayah bought them because they only costed £0.50 each!

More books for you cost only £0.50 each!

Ibu's hospital bag is packed, your car seat & pushchair are already in the car,
now, we're just counting the days to your expected arrival.

Ya Allah, please make safe for my husband and me, and of course our baby. AMIN.

Salam Aidil Adha

2008-12-11T14:40:00.003Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

Kalau Malaysia berhari raya Isnin, sama lah kami di Oxford. Walaupun kami tidaklah berapa ramai, tetapi sambutan Hari Raya Aidiladha tetap meriah. Terubat kerinduan pada keluarga dan sanak saudara di Malaysia. Dalam hal ehwal makanan, kami di Oxford tidak ada masalah. Pelbagai juadah ada; nasi beriani, nasi Arab (ala-ala nasi bukhara), nasi tomato, rendang daging, sambal goreng, lodeh kering, kuah kacang, ayam masak merah, nasi impit, dalca kambing, rendang kambing, laksa asam, 'blueberry cheese cake' dan sebagainya. Semuanya dimasak sendiri oleh warga Malaysia di sini. Walaupun tengah sarat mengandung, saya tetap menyumbang sedikit juadah, sekadar yang termampu.

Solat sunat Aidiladha berjemaah turut diadakan. Alhamdulillah, kali ini berpeluang berjemaah, oleh kerana solat sunat Aidilfitri terlepas tahun ini memandangkan ada tuntutan kuliah di Brookes. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki, dipanjangkan umur untuk bertemu Ramadhan, Syawal dan Zulhijjah pada tahun-tahun yang akan datang. AMIN.

Nota : Sila abaikan wajah penulis yang semakin tembam dan 'chubby'.

Being Plump

2008-11-25T09:13:00.005Z

I've been over-weight since 19 years old, and since then I've been 'bruised' by others' criticism and worse, even I criticised myself. I hate looking at mirrors, and even in my worst condition, I would punch my flabby tummy to release the disappointment and grief.

But it was then. Now, despite of the occasional criticism that I get once in a while, I'm more positive about it. I'm over-weight, that's the fact but Alhamdulillah, I'm healthy; normal blood pressure, normal level of cholesterol, normal sugar level and above all I'm happy with my life.

I'm still plump, even more plump than before. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and so far Alhamdulillah, a healthy mother-to-be....

Disclaimer: The following photos might be 'hazardous' to some viewers, especially if you have a perfect slim body or you personally disgust fat people. :)

Me @ Nandos Cowley Road for Abang's 27th birthday
24 weeks pregnant

Me @ home - 30 weeks pregnant

Our Weekend 22 - 23 Nov 2008

2008-11-24T16:53:00.008Z

They visited us in Oxford somewhere in August this year. So, we decided to return the visit last weekend. It took us around 2 hours to get to their place and my first impression was "this is a lovely neighbourhood!"; a good place to stay indeed.

We were greeted with warm welcome from the hosts and hot-delicious 'mee kari' (thanks Fara!). Later, Kak Gee and family joined us for lunch. Then, Fara and Mosan took us to Loughborough University. It is a campus-like university, very much similar to UTM Skudai back home, plus with excellent sporting facilities. Took some photos of us in the Civil & Building Engineering building and at the front gate. It was extremely cold, so we cut our visit short and headed back to their place.

Later in the evening, Dino & Maz (friends of Fara & Mosan) came to the house. Very friendly and bubbly couple. It's good to be acquianted with nice and modest people. After a long day, we retired at 10pm for our early day tomorrow.

Sunday morning. Had our English breakfast and we were off to the car boot sale. The weather was not promising though, and as expected, the boot sale was a bit disappointing. However, we managed to get ourselves a toy for the upcoming baby, a cookbook and 2 motorcycles models. Then we decided to continue our shopping spree at IKEA Nottingham, and it was very fruitful. We bought a bookshelf, baby's cot (with mattress, mattress protector and cover), a jar and frying pan. Well, it was a bargain, and we seemed to forget that we drove (only) a saloon car. So, as expected, Fara and Mosan had to sit (uncomfortably) on the bookshelf and baby's cot for almost 40minutes (Sorry guys! We were over excited!).

We went to Kak Gee's house for a short visit. Had a lovely 'bihun goreng' (even had seconds! hehehe) and long chat. Then, we headed back to Fara & Mosan's place and packed our things for home. Fara prepared lunch (it was delicious!! and of course I had seconds! heheh) and after Maghrib prayer, we made our move to Oxford.

It was such a lovely weekend; spending time with good friends as well as meeting new people. We will come again (Insya-Allah) to Loughborough, and we hope our friends there will come visit us here in Oxford.

To Fara & Mosan, thank you very much for the warmest hospitality. Semoge dimurahkan rezeki.

P/S : Fara, aku x serik ok.. Next time kite gi serang Stoke-on-Trent plak.

My Definition of Romantic

2008-11-18T17:37:00.003Z

I've been thinking about this entry for quite some time actually, but I can't really decide on the actual title and the language (if you realise, I tend to use Bahasa and English for my entries, depending on the mood).

Generally speaking, most women would want to be loved, pampered and cared by men, romantic men; how may that woman defines romantic to her taste. I myself have been constantly changing my own definition of romantic since I could understand what being romantic is.

From puberty (at 11 years old) till 16 years old
Romantic = give flowers and gifts , surprises (good ones, of course), gestures (hold your hands while walking and crossing the road, pulling the chair for you sit on, etc), lovely and 'flattery' words (which best when you least expected) and anything else that you can dig up from the long lists of chick flick's movies since 1992.

From 17 to 25 years old
Romantic = caring, loving, modest, remembers special dates (birthday, anniversaries, etc), giving flowers and gifts, respect your opinion, accept you for just being you.

From 26 till this moment;
Romantic = caring, loving, modest, responsible, respect your opinion, accept you for just being you, always encourage you to be a better Muslim, wakes you up every morning for Subuh prayer, and above all, prays for your well-being in life and in the after-life after every prayer, every day.

And I'm pretty sure, I'll be holding to this definition for the longest time possible, Insya-Allah.

Minggu beranikan diri

2008-11-11T11:34:00.003Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

Pada awal minggu, bersemangat sgt nk buat research sejak mule bekerja dgn 2nd supervisor. Bygkan progress dlm mase 2 minggu lg memberangsangkan dr keje 5 bulan seblmnye. Sepanjang 7 bulan bekerja dgn 1st supervisor, boleh dikatekan tiap kali jumpe mesti nangis. Tension, sakit ati... lps tu terus jd malas (teruk kan saye ni?). Alhamdulillah ade pemangkin semangat, suami dan baby yg asyik menendang dlm perut ni.

Cume minggu ni, sgt la depressed. Lps berpk panjang, bincang dgn suami, saye ambil keputusan utk jumpe Research Tutor (mcm penasihat la lebih kurang) utk ceritekan masalah saye ni. Dah nekad dah ni. Ape nk jd, jd la.. drpd menanggung sengsare 3thn yg akan dtg. Td mase jumpe RT dh plan dh "jgn nangis, jgn nangis", skali tu terburai gak ayer mate. Sensitif btol sejak pregnant ni (sblm ni pon mmg sensitif..).

Keputusannye, RT akan bincang dgn 1st supervisor. Lps tu, saye kene bekerja dgn die for another 2 months, kalau x boleh gak, RT akan tukarkan ke supervisor lain. Harap2 inilah penyelesaian yg terbaik utk saye, suami & baby.

Doakan saye ye. Thank you.

Becoming a Mother..

2008-11-02T18:06:00.005Z

Assalamualaikum wbt

The fact that in less than 3 months I'll become a mother, I guess it is normal to have few anxieties every now and then.

1. Will I be a good mother (according to Islam)?
2. Will I be able to raise a child?
3. Will I be able to care for my husband and our child?
4. Will I be able to cope with my studies?

Honestly, I'm worried. Why?

I'm worried thinking about the challenges of being a mother in a time when people are no longer care about religion and cultural values.

I'm worried thinking that it won't be enough just to send your children to the religious school hoping that they will become a good Muslim.

I'm worried thinking that our society (the Malay Muslims) are now 'proudly' showing their arrogance and ignorance towards Islam.

I'm worried for we are only human, who are not born (and never will be) perfect.

But, at the same time, I'm hoping that Allah will forgive our sins and continue to save us from His wrath (Nauzubillahiminzalik).

Ya Allah, kurniakanlah petunjuk kepada hamba-hambaMu. Ampunkan dosa-dosa kami Ya Allah. Peliharalah kami dari kemurkaanMu Ya Allah.

Amin Ya Rabbal Aalamin.

Wahai anak bangsaku..

2008-10-27T12:29:00.003Z

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Minggu lalu, salah seorang anak murid saya bertanyakan pendapat tentang biasiswa PNB. Nasihat saya, kalau dapat biasiswa bagus lah. Ada jaminan kerja (Insya-Allah) dan yang lebih baik, tak perlu pening kepala bayar balik pinjaman.

Saya teringat salah satu 'entry' dalam blog suami tentang komen beliau di atas cadangan MB Selangor membuka kuota 10% kepada pelajar bukan bumiputera menuntut di UiTM. Begitu banyak tentangan, antaranya mempersoalkan tentang hak keistimewaan bumiputera. Namun seperti yang dinyatakan oleh suami, ada baiknya kuota 10% itu untuk mewujudkan persaingan sihat di kalangan penuntut IPTA di Malaysia sama seperti IPTA lain. Apa yang lebih penting, pemberian biasiswa kepada pelajar bumiputera perlu dipertingkatkan memandangkan kebanyakan pelajar bumiputera datang dari keluarga berpendapatan sederhana dan ramai juga dari golongan yang kurang berkemampuan.

Terkenang kembali semasa menuntut di UTM Skudai suatu masa dulu, pada ketika itu skim pinjaman PTPTN baru diperkenalkan. Boleh dikatakan hampir 90% rakan sekelas mengambil pinjaman tersebut, kecuali saya dan beberapa rakan lain. Pada awalnya, memang niat di hati nak memohon pinjaman yang sama, namun Ayah menegah. Katanya, kalau biasiswa baru terima. Alhamdulillah, berkat penantian selama 3 bulan, saya berjaya mendapat biasiswa dari JPA dari peringkat diploma hingga tamat ijazah pertama. Mungkin ramai yang berkata, bukan semua yang layak dapat biasiswa (berdasarkan keputusan SPM). Namun, saya merasakan badan-badan kerajaan dan badan berkanun seharusnya memainkan peranan yang lebih baik dalam memberikan biasiswa kepada pelajar bumiputera khususnya. Walau bagaimanapun, bagi pihak kerajaan pula bagi memastikan biasiswa yang diberikan dimanfaatkan sebaik-baiknya, beberapa syarat (seperti mengekalkan keputusan baik sepanjang pengajian, mempunyai rekod displin yang baik, dsb) perlu ditetapkan supaya pelajar-pelajar tidak mengambil mudah bantuan kewangan yang diberikan.

Saya sebenarnya ingin mengucapkan tahniah kepada anak murid saya yang terpilih menerima biasiswa untuk pengajian ijazah pertama di UTM Skudai. Semoga bantuan yang diberikan digunakan sebaik-baiknya untuk diri sendiri dan keluarga.

Penerima biasiswa JPA - Mohd Najmuddin bin Nawi
Penerima biasiswa PNB - Abd Hafiz bin Abd Razak, Muhd Akmal bin Ahmad, Zulkhairi bin Kidam

Kepada yang lain-lain, saya sentiasa mendoakan kejayaan anda semua (Insya-Allah). Saya harap anda semua turut mendoakan kejayaan saya dan suami. AMIN.

Wahai Supervisor ku

2008-10-23T11:32:00.003+01:00

En J,

Hari ini saya sangat sedih.
Kenapa? Kerana semangat saya sudah semakin letih.
Kenapa? Sebab En J tersangatlah memilih.

Hari ini saya penat.
Kenapa? Kerana semangat saya pun semacam semakin tenat.
Kenapa? Sebab En J cerewet yang amat.

Hari ini saya menangis.
Kenapa? Kerana semangat saya semakin terhakis.
Kenapa? Sebab tiap kali bersemuka dengan En J, hati saya terguris.

Tapi, hari ini juga saya sedar.
Setiap dugaan, ada hikmahnya.
Tabahkan hati, tetapkan jiwa.

Hari ini saya bertekad.
Buat suami, keluarga yang berharap sangat.
Supaya hati ini tidak mudah patah semangat.

Nota : 'Entry' ini sempene hari aku yg agak gelap semlm. Siap ade hujan air mate skali. Mujur Alhamdulillah, ade org tenangkan perasaan tension ni. TQ abang, ayah n mak...

My Atok Bak

2008-10-13T18:41:00.003+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

I have such wonderful grandparents both from my Mak & Ayah's sides; however, I hardly had the chance to see my Tok Wan & Tok (Mak's parents) often as Mak's hometown is in Ayer Itam, Kedah and Ayah's in Pontian, Johor (yup, I've riden from Bkt Kayu Hitam up north to Johor Bahru down south and I once can even name all the R&R in PLUS highway, how freaky is that?!). The best memories that I had with both my late Tok Wan & Tok, was when Mak & Ayah were away in Makkah to perform Hajj back in 1990. Tok Wan was originally from Siak, North Sumatera and he came to Kedah to pursue his dream of a better life. With only 25 rupiah in his pocket, he worked his hardest in paddy fields and attended local religious school (sekolah pondok) at the same time. Through hardship and perseverence, he managed to own a mini-market and even bought few 'relung' of paddy fields. Tok was the only grandmother I've known as Mak's biological mother passed away years before due to child birth, but Tok was never a 'stepmother' to Mak.

As for Ayah's parents, Tok Bak & Tok Mak have been always the closer grandparents as they occasionally come to KL (once in one or two months) for visits, but as both of them got older, Ayah advised them not to take the bus from Pontian to Puduraya anymore, instead we'll visit them in Pontian. Tok Bak is a retired policeman, and Tok Mak is a full-time housewife. Tok Bak is a strict father but a very jovial grandfather. He even taught us simple mathematics when we were young and used to tell us horror stories during our nights in Pontian. Tok Mak is such a loving grandmother to her (almost) 40 grandchildren. She will laugh to all Ayah's slapstick jokes even no one else might not find them funny at all (no offense Ayah, :)).

I've lost Tok Wan & Tok years ago, and still I miss them. And now, I've lost Tok Bak just 2 days ago due to breathing complication and old age. I received a phone call from Mak (crying at the other end, as Tok Bak was the only father that she still have) at 6.07am (UK time) informing me a rather bad news about Tok Bak. I cried (still am while writing this entry) instantenously when I heard the news, but deep down I knew it was already the time for him to go as he gradually became more and more ill each day.

I pray to Allah to grant Tok Bak forgiveness and better life in hereafter. Tok Bak, you'll always be loved and remembered by us as long as we shall live.

Al-Fatihah.

20 weeks 5 days

2008-09-16T05:48:00.003+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

Yesterday, we had our 2nd appointment for ultrasound scan at the Women Centre, John Radcliffe Hospital.

Being able to see what's really happening inside this bulging tummy of mine was such a treat. Alhamdulillah, our baby's normal and in good health.

Ibu & Ayah loves you very much.

It's life..

2008-08-29T20:11:00.002+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

As we are approaching Ramadhan in just approximately 3 days time, I've been doing a lot of self-thoughts; reflecting on my life from as long as I can remember until now, as a wife, a research student and a mother (soon, Insya-Allah). Perhaps, my life is not much different from others; once the rebellious teenager and daughter, few heartbreaks, humiliation, rejections, made a total fool of myself, did lots of things which I've regretted, excelled in major exams (Alhamdulillah), being blessed with parents who will accept and support me even after their hearts are constantly being hurt, did my masters in UK, traveled to foreign countries, met lots of friends along the way, met and married to a wonderful man, and now pursuing the highest degree that I've ever imagined.

There are times when I was being hard of myself; being overweight and obese most of the time, not attractive and anything similar to inferiority complex issues. I thought I was the most miserable person at that moment, with constant criticism from people around me. I've even thought of over-dosing myself with diet pills just to make myself thin instantly. When I thought about it, oh.. how did I manage to make a fool of myself to that extent? Life is too precious to be treated in such manner.

It's good to have people around you who have gone through bigger obstacles in their life; lost a parent or both, lost a child, once living in poverty (and managed to get out of it with hard work and perseverance), and even involved in life-threatening situations which later ended up with physical, mental and emotional disabilities. These people's experience will make you appreciate your life even more. Heartbreak from a never-meant-to-be relationship will hurt you, so very much especially when you put your whole self into it, but the feeling is nothing compare to the hearts who have lost someone dear to a tragic accident or sickness.

No one's life is perfect, including (especially) myself. The key is to never give up, you can cry and lock yourself from others for perhaps few days/weeks/months/years, but NEVER LOOSE YOURSELF. Take the time to reflect the things that you've done, and you've gone through and try to improve yourself (note to self). And always remember, the hardship will make you even stronger and more appreciative towards what you already and still have. Allah has planned our life from the beginning until the end, and He is the only one who knows how will our life turn out to be. I'm not a preacher, as I'm also still learning, but I just want to share my thoughts and perhaps be able to inspire my friends who are now facing the hardest time in their life.

To whom it may concern, I really admire your courage and strength, and I hope that you'll continue to be strong and optimistic towards your days to come. I hope you'll never give up and embrace the gift of life which we've been blessed for all these years. I'm not going to say that I understand how you feel, because I might not, but as a friend, I would not want any of you to feel that you've failed in life as there are still so many things for us to venture which later will help us learn more about ourselves and others.

As for me, I'm still working on self-improvement; trying to be less-opinionated (especially with my parents and husband), be more attentive towards my research, more responsible (and have more control) on what I'm going to spill from my mouth, and be a better Muslim, Insya-Allah.

Again, "Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak..."

August 2008

2008-08-21T07:56:00.003+01:00

Dear readers (if I have any..),

Sorry for the long silence. Not really in the mood of writing. Perhaps being too critical in choosing a topic to write on, is holding me back. Oh well, throughout August;

1. I've been progressing rather slowly in my research work (tension headache occasionally + extreme laziness + not in the mood of writing, yes it has been the theme of the month). Plus, my supervisor is currently on his long holiday for the summer.

2. We've attended a 'majlis doa selamat' organised by Abg Sham & Kak Faiz in Wolfson College, Oxford Uni. Came back home with one satisfied tummy and happy feelings.

3. Both of us went to London (not our first trip) but it was our first trip to Portobello Market. At first, we intended to find new addition to our miniature house collection, but we only managed to get ourselves signature postage stamps and some old stamps for Ayah. From there we proceed to Msian Hall, where we had our lunch (sambal paru + rendang daging, nyum2) and met our friend from UTM KL who is currently in Newcastle. The highlight of the day, we had GBP100 extra in our pocket courtesy from a very generous stranger (a fellow Msian) who we prayed for long lasting prosperity and good health, Insya-Allah.

4. We are now slowly leaving summer and approaching autumn, and I'm having a bad flu and slight fever occasionally. Being pregnant, I was advised not to take Panadol Soluble which contains 500mg Acetaminophen (I've checked with my midwife). Not to take any chances, I'm sticking to Paracetamol (period).

Well, nothing much as you can see, but having a blog, I suppose I'm obliged to update it (aku ingat pesan ko Yeb).

To my family and friends, no matter where you are,
Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. Semoga Ramadhan kali ini membawa keberkatan dan keinsafan kepada kita semua. AMIN.

The happiest day.. to date

2008-07-21T17:17:00.003+01:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

For the past 12 weeks, I've missed my monthly periods, feeling nauseated almost every hour, having disturbed good night sleeps due to back pain and sensitive bladder. Yes, I'm pregnant! Alhamdulillah (Praise to Allah). Today, I had my 1st scan (dating scan to determine the Expected Delivery Date-EDD), and it was so overwhelming. We're both very happy, and words can't describe our feelings right now. We're praying for the best, for our child to be healthy, physically and mentally (AMIN).

Ibu and Ayah love you so much!!

My all-time favourite Asian love story

2008-07-14T20:15:00.003+01:00

I found this video from YouTube (you can find almost anything from YouTube nowadays). Really brought me back to my teenage years in STF; waiting for the bell to ring at 4.00pm everyday just to make it on time to watch my favourite Japanese love story, Tokyo Cinderella Story. Myself and others would even run from our classroom on the 3rd floor all the way to the common room. Ahh, those days, when I'm 40kg lighter (hehe..).

*Theme song : Meguriai by Chage & Aska